Hide and Seek
by Candy-Vegetto
Summary: Tired of watching Chara kill for sport, Sans creates an elaborate plan to evacuate the monsters with the most challenging game in Monster history: hide and seek.
1. Sans starts being a genius

**Hide And Seek**

Summary: _Tired of watching Chara kill for sport, Sans creates an elaborate plan to evacuate the monsters with the most universally-challenging game in Monster history: hide and seek._

* * *

Sans has had _enough_ of Chara killing them for the millionth time.

It seems to never end! Chara was unstoppable and will not tire of playing with them! They even reset the whole Universe when she hadn't even finished her task! It seemed like she was redoing everything to do something perfect and without mistake. But Sans had enough of this shit. He needed to take action and change the timeline!

So, one morning, a week before Chara appears in the underground, Sans sat up on his bed without having a good night's sleep. Because he doesn't need sleep. Sleep is for the weak!

The punny skeleton got out of bed, slipped on his favorite pink slippers, and got out of his room. He slid down the stairs and investigated the TV for the same exact news report about Mettaton's new album. He switched channels till the screen went fuzzy. Then, he wrote a yellow post-it note to Papyrus about his sock.

 _now, back to my plan._ Sans thought, staring at his pet rock. _i cannot have chara coming back to kill everyone again. so, i need a plan to save the monsters from that demon. now, how do i do that?_

He picked up his rock and placed it upside-down.

 _i have a week. how do i destroy a human?_

 _wait a minute._

 _How do I DEstroy a human?_

 _H ow do I DE stroy a human_

 _HIDE ow do stroy a human_

Sans snapped his fingers at the pure geniusness he was coming up with. "hide! thats a great idea. not what i was asking about, but it'll do fine. but how do i get all the monsters to do _that_?"

After some brainstorming, he called it a day and kicked back on the sofa.

"oh holy matrimony, please give way to the light." Sans pled boredly, picking up the remote.

He flipped through some channels, already tired of thinking, and wanted to laze around. The channels being flipped around had words conjoined together perfectly to make a sentence that Sans swore he heard:

 _"Ss-se-eek."_

Something clicked in his mind. At first, his thoughts were stormy and angry, but after realizing it in retrospect, he glorified the idea.

"seek? hide and seek? that's the most _stupidest_ —" Sans' eyes widened. "no. no wait. that's _brilliant_! oh, thy holy universe, thank the time travelling hoaxes and that age-old crazy gaster in the kitchen, i have found the _winning_ ticket to our safety."

He got up immediately.

"i must alert the others."

* * *

"—and i tell it to you, our giant hide and seek game with the human, spanning across the entire kingdom, will start now!" Sans exclaimed to the crowd of monsters huddling his stage.

Then, left and right, everyone started to disappear. Everyone participated in the historical game of hide and seek. The game was so popular amongst monsters that it had been a sacred ritual for the past hundreds of years that they do not meddle with the game.

When it's played, it _will_ be played right.

Sans grinned at himself for the idea. His brother, Papyrus, was confused with the action, but joined in the fun anyway because it was sacred for the game to be played with utmost seriousness and intensity. The game of hide and seek dated back to their ancestors and will not be toyed with.

Everyone, Undyne, Mettaton, Alphys, Asgore, Toriel, went to hide in their places. As for Sans... he'll lock himself in his room. No sweat.

But the moment he stepped into his room, he found at least twenty monsters, including Undyne and Papyrus, sitting around. They knew this was the ultimate spot for hide and seek. However! Sans still had another winning ticket to the game! He got his key and went for the back door of the house, cornering himself in his crazy Gaster's lab.

After three days of sitting in silence, he looked through the contents of the drawers and found himself in photos.

"wow. i remember these." Sans told himself, chuckling at the memory. "gaster was sure good with photoshop. i don't even know these people."

* * *

Four days later...

Chara spawned into the world, walking around the halls as quickly as they could.

"Okay, no-reset no-mercy speedrun attempt #123 is a go..." Chara told herself. "...I can't believe I screwed up fighting Undyne. Jesus christ, she's _hard_."

Chara walked over to the light patch where Flowey should be, expecting him to pop out of the ground. But he didn't.

Chara stopped there.

"Where's that son of a bitch at?" they berated. "Where is he at?! Bastard is wasting my time!"

Chara stomped on the ground, growling angrily and shrieking out of rage and frustration.

"What the hell is happening!?" Chara shouted, "Where the flying crap is Flowey?!"

* * *

 **A/N: Don't know what this is. To be honest, I spent an hour. It was a really stupid hour.**


	2. Papyrus and Undyne discuss matters

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

Papyrus meekly scooted beside Undyne.

"UNDYNE! PSST!" he whispered loudly.

"What?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

"ALPHYS... LIED." he confessed.

Eyes widening, the fish-lady sputtered, "W-What do you mean?"

Papyrus folded his hands over each other. "I DID SOME DIGGING... AND... THERE'S ACTUALLY MORE THAN ONE TYPE OF SPAGHETTI. THE GROUP CENTERED AROUND SPAGHETTI IS CALLED _PASTA_."

"WHAT?!" She stood up in rage. "How could Alphys not tell me about this? She knew I was interested in fine culinary art!" Her expression softened, her eyes watering a bit. She didn't admit that though. "Did... Did she not want me to cook spaghetti?"

"ACTUALLY, THE MORE CORRECT TERM IS PASTA, BUT... I KNOW RIGHT? HOW COULD SHE HIDE THIS VAST AMOUNT OF KNOWLEDGE TO SPAGHE—I MEAN, " _PASTA_ "-LOVERS?" Papyrus said, still skeptical about pasta.

Sitting back down, Undyne inquired of these _other_ spaghetti types.

"Okay, real talk. What did you see about the _other_ pasta?"

"THERE'S CURLY ONES. SHORT ONES. THICK ONES. ONES THAT LOOK LIKE SMALL TUBES..." Papyrus informed, "THERE'S ALSO... OTHER RECIPES FOR SPAGHETTI SAUCE."

Undyne giggled, before grunting to sound manly. "Oh, do tell."

* * *

"i dont think _this_ picture is photoshopped." Sans noted, holding it up. His eyes squinted at the photo. "oh, wait, this is just a crude crayon drawing gaster made when he was probably six. i mean, look at all the squiggles. gaster, you just drew yourself bigger than the others. and _that_ man is just a circle with lines. no creativity at all."

He flicked the photo out of his bony fingers.

"welp, thats all the things i could do in this place. i'm bored." Sans said. "has anyone died yet?" He smacked his lips. "nah. everyone's a beast at hide and seek. it's just not possible."

The picture fluttered down onto the rest of the photos.

The skeleton sat up and looked at the mess he made. Throughout all the pictures, there was an outline that wrote "BRING ME BACK". Sans blinked.

"i think... ive been alone too long. i know a week would turn people mad. so i'll just..."

The skeleton punted the mess of papers as it flew into the air, and landed back on the floor. Now, the outline on the papers spelled "LOVE, GASTER". Sans squinted at the mess of papers.

"alright, oh holy universe. i see what you're _piecing_ _together_. and i dont like it. not one bit." Sans picked up the papers and threw it back into the air.

It all fluttered down and the outline spelled "PS NO PRESSURE RIGHT".

Sans did it again.

It wrote "OKAY STOP DOING THAT".

And then after another bout, "GET TO WORK".

Sans snorted. "yeah. i'll do it. i'll work to get you back. quick question. how are you dead? arent skeletons already dead? wait i think i answered my question with previous experience. right, skeletons _can_ die, thats confirmed. now how do i get you _back... bone_?"

He threw the papers and it said "THAT PUN WAS TERRIBLE".

"well, its not as terrible as your state." Sans retorted.

A throw of papers, "TOUCHÉ SMARTASS".

Sans got up and stretched his bones. "i'll help you get your skeleton back. but only if you get me an updogg."

He kicked the papers, "WHATS UPDOGG".

Sans laughed uncontrollably. The fact that a dead person just told him that was priceless and an experience to be treasured. After a while of regaining his composure, Sans wiped a tear out of his eye.

"you walked into that one." he said. "i'm not gonna let you respond to keep you looking like an idiot." He looked away but came back to the mess. "ya know what? i bet your response will be priceless, i wanna see."

He waved the papers around, and it wrote "NOOO".

Sans held his nonexistent nose high. "just the quality reaction i was expecting." he remarked.

* * *

"Day four. Which means three days have passed for any retards listening. No sign of anything. I don't know why I slept on those bed of flowers for three nights, hoping that Flowey would come. But, uh, I'm obviously an idiot for thinking that would work. Sleeping does not equal reset, duh." Chara told herself. "I mean, come _on_ , if Flowey's not coming, then he's not coming. I'll just let him hide in his hidey hole all he wants. Coward."

Chara walked down the aisle towards Toriel's home. They spotted a ghost lying on the ground, blocking her passage. Looking around, they checked to see if it was real. They pinched themselves on the arm, confirming that they were, in fact, in reality.

They walked towards to the ghost.

"Ey, Napstablook." Chara said. "Where're all the monsters at?"

"Oh, they're playing hide-and-seek with a human." Napstablook informed. "Oh, you're a human. Wait a moment..."

Napstablook faded out of their sight.

Chara looked around. They flopped their arms.

The human grunted.

"A game of hide and seek? Who's flipping idea was that? I know every corner of this game." Chara said conceitedly. They sighed, "And yet, I can't find anything but a _ghost_."

Chara's anger boiled. They couldn't take this shit. They were on attempt one-hundred-and-who-gives-a-shit on their no-mercy speedrun, and then the monsters pull _this_ off. Hide and seek.

"A GHOST." they repeated, louder this time. "A... _GHOST_. I found a fricking GHOST at HIDE AND SEEK. WHERE'S THE LOGIC IN THAT. I MEAN—I JUST—I CAN'T... shit, theRE'S NO LOGIC... ARGHHH!"

* * *

 **A/N: Because people wanted more. And I had another hour to spare. I made this. I hope you like it.**


	3. Chara's copyright problem

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

"UNDYNE, I'VE WANTED TO ASK YOU THIS SINCE I MET YOU." Papyrus said. "BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?"

"My eye?" Undyne touched her eyepatch, then knew what he was talking about. "Oh. Fishing accident."

Papyrus squinted in suspicion. "A... FISHING ACCIDENT?"

"Yeah." she replied, not knowing what was wrong with it. She said it slowly for him to comprehend. "I go fishing."

"BUT... YOU'RE A _FISH_." he stated skeptically.

"With sharp teeth and a big mouth, giving me the advantage to eat smaller fish viciously. Like a shark." Undyne explained slowly, not seeing why Papyrus didn't get it. To prove her point, she showed her sharp teeth. "Sometimes the bones of my victims get stuck in between them, and I have to use a fork to get it out. If you're thinking about cannibalism, it's not really that since I'm not eating fish people. I'm eating smaller fish that aren't my own species. It's how life works."

"OH." Papyrus said, weirded out by how normal that explanation sounded. "BUT, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?"

"Fishing accident." Undyne answered.

"YEAH. I KNOW. WHAT HAPPENED?"

"You just said you know."

"OH NO... _OH NO_." He shook his head, eyes glued to his master. "YOU'RE TURNING INTO SANS." Papyrus took her by the shoulders and violently shook her. " _DON'T_."

Undyne swatted his mittens away. "Okay! There was a giant sharktopus and I was really, _really_ confident that I'd defeat it. Turns out, that sharktopus was bait for a World Turtle."

"A... A _WORLD TURTLE_?" Papyrus repeated.

"Yeah... I got caught with a giant island-sized turtle." Undyne said.

"BUT... _WORLD TURTLE_?" he said bewilderedly. "UNDYNE, WE'RE IN THE _UNDERGROUND_." he reminded. "THERE'S NO ROOM FOR WORLD TURTLES."

"But I swear... it was a _giant_ turtle. A big one. The tip of its shell spanned an island. And I got caught on its beak and looked into the eyes of death." Undyne shivered. "I... I don't go out that much anymore."

" _OUT_? UNDYNE, _WHAT_? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU SAYING YOU HAD A WAY TO THE SURFACE?" Papyrus inquired.

"Not to the _surface_..." she replied shadily.

* * *

Sans stepped out of the laboratory, peeking his skull out for any sign of Chara. Then, he tip-toed his way to the entrance of Snowdin. Quietly, he walked down the bridge, went south and found the remains of some decoration kids put on a deer. He went to the giant, locked door, entering the temple.

"wait." he stopped himself. "why didn't i just shortcut my way in and out?"

He shrugged and continued walking through the four flower buds that sprouted in the ground. He took his shovel out and began digging out one of the flowers. He dug out an inch of soil before wiping sweat off his brow and taking a rest.

A white dog seemed to appear out of nowhere, barking and yapping at him.

"hmm." Sans told the dog. "had a _ruff_ day?"

The white dog hopped around and peed on the gravesite that Sans was digging up. Fortunately, Sans didn't really mind about a dog peeing on the dirt of Gaster's coffin. Except, Gaster would have problems with this.

After the dog peed, he said, "SANS, GO TO WORK."

Sans stared at the dog boredly. "why didn't you possess me?" he retorted.

The dog stared back. It scratched its ear with its hind leg. "I UHHH CAN'T."

"why?"

"I CAN ONLY ACCESS THIS DOG. IT SEEMS TO BE EMPTY, SOULLESS, AND MADE ONLY AS A HOST FOR ETHEREAL ENTITIES TO POSSESS." the dog barked. "LIKE SOME HIGHER-UP SOUL OR SOME KIND OF GOD MADE THIS BODY JUST TO POSSESS IT IN THE REAL WORLD."

"that's... weird and oddly specific to note." Sans replied.

"I KNOW RIGHT? THE SOUL INHABITING THIS DOG BEFORE ME HAD SOME WEIRD MEMORY ABOUT PHONES, BONES, CODING, MUSIC, AND A JEWEL DEEP IN A CAVERN OR SOMETHING." the dog said, "I WANT TO TAKE THEM."

Sans squinted at the dog. "uh-huh. _fur_ real?"

"YES. FOR REAL. I CAN'T SHAKE THE FEELING OFF." the dog yapped as it stuck its tongue out.

"well then. since you're back-bone. i don't think you need your skeleton body anymore. so."

"NO WAIT. THIS DOG IS NOT USEFUL. ALL I CAN DO IS SPEAK TO YOU AND CONTROL THIS DOG'S URGES TO BARK TO A COMPUTER."

"what am i sup- _paws_ -ed to do about it?" Sans asked.

"GET MY BODY BACK, YOU NUMBSKULL!" the dog got up and left the room. "NOOO! TURN BACK, DOGGY! TURN BACK!"

Gaster's shouts faded away as the dog walked to some unknown place.

Sans continued to laze around in the cavern, not using his otherworldly powers out of habit.

* * *

"~I've walked a hundred miles~down a broken road~and in my mind i carry~such a heavy load~" Chara hummed, singing with a cranky voice. "~the voices in my head~I think are not my own~but I will reap the seeds~that my hands have sown~"

As they walked down the hall to Toriel's house, Napstablook appeared into their sight.

"That was a sick beat." Napstablook remarked.

"Yeah." Realizing it was Napstablook they were talking to, they suddenly got on their knees and pleaded to the ghost. "Can you do me a favor and rat out all the monsters for me? I'll spare you in return. _Please_."

"You can't kill ghosts." Napstablook reminded.

"You wanna bet?" Chara took their stick branch out aggressively.

"It's illogical." Napstablook said.

Chara shrieked and swatted the ghost with a stick. It went through him. Chara's eyes widened and immediately dashed under some cover to hide from his tears. Their Level Of ViolencE was still at one, so their HoPe wasn't that high.

Napstablook sullenly faded away, humming the beat to Chara's song.

"Wait a minute..." Chara got out of their spot. "...that ghost just stole my song! YOU CAN'T STEAL MY SONG! IT'S MINE! IT LITERALLY HAS MY NAME ON IT! THE COPYRIGHT POLICE WILL GET YOU!"

They shook a fist at the air. The air responded with, "I'm a ghost."

"DAMN YOU, NAPSTABLOOOOOOOK!"

* * *

 **A/N: People _really_ like this. Here's some more one-hour writing. I hope you like it.**


	4. Gaster steals a leg

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

Papyrus was bored. Undyne was cleaning her spear. The skeleton glanced at his mentor's work.

"WHY ARE YOU CLEANING AN ENERGY SPEAR?" Papyrus asked.

Undyne groaned, "Why do you ask so many questions?"

"NO, REALLY. THAT'S AN ENERGY SPEAR YOU PULL OUT OF THIN AIR. IT CAN'T BE DIRTY THAT QUICK. IT WAS MADE A FEW MINUTES AGO, OUT OF _ENERGY_." Papyrus informed. "WHY DO YOU CLEAN IT?"

"I clean it because I want to, _okay_?" Undyne said, pulling away her MTT rag from the spear. "There's nothing else to do here." She continued cleaning her spear.

"THERE'S PLENTY OF STUFF TO DO HERE! THERE'S..." Papyrus looked around at the monster-crowded room. He tried to spot any games they could play or anything of entertainment value, but his poor mind couldn't think at a time like a hide and seek game. "...OKAY. YOU'RE RIGHT."

The two sat beside each other, bored. Papyrus couldn't fathom what Sans would be doing here with only a twister of garbage to provide entertainment.

Trying to start up another conversation, Papyrus said, "YA KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT SANS DOES—WAIT, HE DOES HIS JOB... ANYWAY, I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHERE THE OTHERS ARE HID—"

A dog yapped as it entered the room with intangible prowess and took Papyrus' leg. The dog snatched the bone and left Papyrus with a leg less.

"HEY! THE DOG!" Papyrus cried, pointing at the dog which phased through the wall again.

This time, they saw it, and their jaws dropped.

"UNDYNE, COULD YOU ASSIST ME IN GETTING MY LEG BACK?" Papyrus asked, a bit skeptical about what happened. He touched his stump and wept. "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?" he whispered, "I'VE MADE MY MISTAKES. GOT NOWHERE TO RUN. THE NIGHT GOES ON—"

"How do you know that?"

"KNOW WHAT?"

"That song."

"WHAT SONG?"

"Nothing."

Papyrus ignored what she asked and lifted his leg stump. "CAN YOU HELP ME GET MY LEG BACK?"

* * *

Sans was digging two feet into Gaster's gravesite, before crawling out of the hole and staring at the huge pile of dirt. He dusted his hands and inspected his work. A white dog came back with a familiar bone in its mouth.

Sans glanced at it. "is that _papys'_ foot?"

The dog spat the bone out. "I CAN'T HELP IT. THIS DOG... HAS SOME KIND OF OBSESSION. AND THERE ARE SOMETHING THIS DOG DID THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN..."

"i don't really think i wanna know what that dog can do. anytime now, papyrus will come into this temple, and ask what im doing. how am i gonna explain that im digging up your skeleton to revive you to take out a human?"

"IT'S SELF-EXPLANATORY, ISN'T IT?" the dog replied. "PLUS, YOU JUST EXPLAINED IT. EASY AS THAT."

"huh. you're right."

Sans continued to dig.

After four more feet of dirt, he reached the coffin.

"i don't understand how you have a coffin. don't all monsters turn to dust after they die? how do you keep your body?" Sans asked, dusting off the coffin.

"I UH..." The dog snatched the bone back in its mouth. "...EXPERIMENTATION?"

"care to explain?"

"NO."

"well, looks like we won't be bringing up your skeleton. i'll just leave it like this. let you do the work." Sans hopped out of the hole he dug.

"OKAY!" the dog barked, "I WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH CLONING... IT FAILED. IT MADE MY CELLS STRONGER. I BECAME MY OWN CLONE."

"you are your own clone?" Sans repeated, confused.

"THE CLONING EXPERIMENT DOUBLED THE DENSITY OF MY CELLS. INSTEAD OF RECREATING NEW ONES IN ANOTHER LOCATION. THEREFORE, THE CLONE WAS MADE IN ME. AND HERE WE ARE: STRONGER SKELETON, NEED BURIAL." the dog explained, licking its snout. "THAT'S WHY YOU NEED TO REVIVE ME. I'M STRONG."

"hmm. logic checks out. i guess." Sans crouched down, opened the coffin and looked in. He paled at the sight.

He promptly closed it the next instant and jumped out of the hole with a traumatized look on his face. He began burying the coffin back with dirt.

"STOP THAT! WHAT HAPPENED?" Gasdog asked, puzzled why Sans is covering his coffin with dirt. They were so close, and now the short skeleton was going to shove dirt back onto his hard work. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?"

Slowly, Sans answered.

"wrong coffin."

"OH." Gasdog looked away. Gasdog started to pee over the coffin dirt, which splashed next to the disturbed Sans. "DAMN DOG. NOW'S NOT THE TIME!"

* * *

Chara stared at the main menu box, glaring intently at the reset button. They slammed their hand against it, and it didn't move. They did it again, but it didn't reset. They waved the main menu box away and continued looking for any monsters in Toriel's home.

They knew a ghost was somewhere around, watching them amusingly. Of course, it's because of the conversation box that keeps appearing in her face.

*You feel a chill crawl up your spine.

*A howl danced in the winds.

*The soul of the dead—

"Yadda yadda yadda! Get away from me." Chara shook their hand through the screen box and it faded into nothingness. "Useless box. I know already! Napstablook, I will mess your face when I find a way to get my hands on you!"

They searched through the house, taking the chocolate in the fridge and saving it for later. Chocolate is meant to be savoured, not eaten instantly. They rummaged through the rooms, before they stopped at the locked one that was under maintenance. Their lips curved into a smile.

"Oh, I wonder who's hiding behind this door?" they teased, leaning her ear against it.

It was supposed to be a joke to scare off the monsters, but the door responded.

"Go away, Chara!"

Chara's face paled, their expression twisting to shock. They thought: _Only a handful of people know who I am—_

A box appeared in their face, smacking them in the nose. It hurt, so they clapped their hands over their nose, muttering curses.

*You start to check off the list of people and monsters that know your name.

Chara growled at the screen and punched the box, but their fist went through it and hit the brick wall. They retracted their hand immediately, pain shooting up their arm. They whimpered silently, while swearing they heard someone laughing.

*You feel a chill crawl up your spine.

*Laughter danced in the winds—

"SHUT UP!" they shouted, attacking the conversation box like they walked into cobweb.

After the ghostly laughter subsided, they went back to business.

They rapped the door with their knuckles and stick, shouting, "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! _ASRIEL_! IF YOU DON'T COME OUT, I'LL BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!"

"It's locked. You have no way in." the voice behind the door replied.

"Oh, look, it's Asriel! Prince of the underground. A sad flower who can't feel feelings, nanana _whatever_!" they taunted, "I bet you five bucks I can break this door down!"

"I bet you _ten_ bucks you can't!"

"Oh yeah?" Chara continued, "If you don't come out now, I'll tell everyone in the underground about their little prince. How he snuck pictures of hot babes under his pillow every night—"

There was a slam in the door. "WHAT?! I DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT! CHARA, YOU BASTARD! DON'T DO IT!"

"How their innocent prince stared at me maliciously, plotting my death—"

"MY REPUTATION! CHARA. STOP. STOP THAT!"

"How their prince murdered _me_ , princess of the underground, in cold blood."

"Okay, that was... _technically_... correct. BUT _WE_ ALSO PLANNED THAT. THAT WAS YOUR FAULT. YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. NOT ME."

"And how he tried to overcome the king by poisoning hi—"

The door slammed open. "THAT'S IT, CHARA. YOU WANNA GO START FRICKING RUMORS? YOU WANNA DESTROY MY REPUTATION? COME FIGHT ME ONE ON ONE. WE'LL SETTLE THIS HERE AND NOW! COME ON!" a flower taunted, patting his chest out. "COME AT ME!"

Chara looked at their fingernails. "And that's five bucks for me."

Flowey's eye twitched, grinding his teeth. "BUT—NO, _I_ WO— _CHARA_..."

"Oh, and you also lost the hide and seek game. Your ancestors would be very mad at you Asriel, you poor excuse of a monster. You couldn't even keep quiet when the seeker is nearby! How could you ever see yourself becoming prince if you're terrible at hide and seek?" they taunted arrogantly.

Flowey screamed.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry guys, I broke tradition. This took longer than an hour. I'm sorry.**

 **Thank you for supporting me so far. You guys really keep this alive.**

 **I hope you like this new chapter.**


	5. Team sans Chara

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

Sans finally dug up the correct coffin, his eyes were still blank with trauma. He saw a _real_ decaying corpse, which was just disturbingly disgusting. Monsters were supposed to turn into dust. But that body didn't. And he knew for a fact it was dead. It was probably Gaster's explanation that these others that were buried had stronger bodies.

He couldn't say he wasn't fazed by it with all he's seen. He was just caught off guard. Yeah, it was unexpected. Like a jump scare. Those cheap heart attacks, I swear to god.

Well, his trauma subsided with jokes and a few feet of digging in the correct burial. Gasdog peed on it to secure his territory.

"so," Sans lugged Gaster's cold skeleton up. "what now?"

Gasdog scratched its snout with its leg. "WE NEED THE LEGENDARY ARTIFACT HIDDEN IN THE WATERFALL AREA."

"mm? there's a hidden artifact in waterfall?" Sans asked, dusting the cobwebs off Gaster's skeleton.

"YES. A RED-ORANGE JEWEL." The dog picked up Papyrus' leg in its mouth. "IT'S A KEY TO THE RESTORATION OF A MONSTER'S SOUL."

Sans heaved Gaster's corpse onto the ground. "again, may i ask how you know this?"

"I WAS THE ONE WHO PUT IT THERE. AND SET THE CODE." Gaster sounded puzzled. "NO. WAIT. I THINK MY MEMORIES ARE CLASHING WITH THE DOG. AM... AM I FUSING WITH IT? NO! I'M NOT GOING TO! SANS, GO TO WATERFALL AND GET THE JEWEL! WE'LL TALK LATER!"

The dog shook its head and continued on like nothing happened. Sans knew Gaster was gone.

Coincidently, Undyne and Papyrus hopped into the cave, with the tall skeleton hopping on a foot and the fish lady sniffing the scent in the air. Even though she has no nose.

"SANS!" Papyrus' eyes widened at the surprise that his brother was... carrying a skeleton... with a white dog that had his leg in his mouth, walking around him. "WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"huh, perfect timing gaster. you couldnt have left any later." Sans remarked sarcastically. He wanted Gaster to do the explaining, not him. The shorter monster turned to the taller ones. "i am making our chances grow by reviving a dead person. trust me, he's not a deadbeat. he'll get rid of our human seeker."

"YOU KNOW YOU COULD GET CAUGHT, RIGHT? WHAT IF THE HUMAN COMES OUT RIGHT NOW!" Papyrus scolded, the idea that the seeker would find them was serious to him. Getting caught would mean he would be disgraced by the whole monster community. And he couldn't have that while trying to be part of the Royal Guard!

"well, you'd be caught too and we'll all be disgraces to the monster kingdom." Sans shrugged. "can't be worse than already being the worst."

"And you thought you could solve our problem with the corpse of the former royal scientist? Sans, I thought you were smarter than that! That skeleton won't do any good as a shield." Undyne added. She wasn't even scared that she'd lose her reputation to the monster community, because... she's THE warrior fish. They couldn't replace her.

"i wasn't planning to use gaster's body as a meat shield. i was gonna revive him, didn't you hear me?" Sans explained. "ive been digging for the last four hours. if this doesnt work, im going to die and slap the bitch outta gaster. but hes promised great conclusions to our seeker problem, so i trust him."

"How do you know that?" Undyne asked skeptically, crossing her arms. All she knew about Gaster was that he was a royal scientist a few years back. Meanwhile, Papyrus suspiciously eyed the white dog.

"well, he contacted me. and uh..." Sans glanced at the dog that sniffed Gaster's skeleton. "...i dont wanna talk about it. gaster's soul is floating around and he's been talking to me ever since... _this_ game started, i think. hes the one who gave me the idea of hide and seek... i also think. wait, thats grammatically wrong. eh, who cares anyway, not like there are any grammar nazis out here."

Papyrus held his tongue and refused to speak a word because he knew that Sans was smart enough to use proper grammar. He didn't need to lecture him, that would be illogical and a testament to his intellect.

"GUYS. WHAT IF THE HUMAN IS RIGHT BY THE CORNER? I HEAR SOUNDS." Papyrus stated, while subtly inching closer to the dog.

"I can't smell the human's scent." Undyne informed.

"that's cause you dont have a nose." Sans retorted.

"Shut up, Sans." Undyne responded.

Papyrus grabbed his leg back from the dog and popped it in his stump. "OKAY. SO, SANS, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?"

"what do you mean " _we_ "?" Sans asked.

"WELL. WE STUMBLED INTO YOU. AND THE HUMAN'S NOT AROUND. WE'RE STILL HIDING. SO, WE'RE NOT DISGRACES YET. AND THIS..." Papyrus waved his finger at Sans and Gaster's skeleton. "...WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH YOU... IS BETTER THAN SITTING IN YOUR ROOM."

Sans nodded at that, before setting his eyes on the warrior fish. "why didnt you guys stay in _your_ room, undyne? that place is practically impossible to get into."

"Well, that's because I can't protect it while I'm inside. Duh." Undyne explained.

"you could've hid in the shed."

"The shed? Psssh! That shed's gates are too wide! Anybody could look inside!"

"WHAT? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS? I KNEW I SHOULD'VE MADE THE SPACE BETWEEN BARS NARROWER." Papyrus interrupted.

"You made that? Oh." Undyne looked impressed. "Well, good job."

"WAIT. REALLY?" Papyrus raised a brow.

"Yeah. It's like an actual prison."

"hey, hold on, wait a second." Sans stomped in. "the moment you found out papyrus made the shed, you start praising it. thats as _fishy_ as a school of _fish_. what happened to an honest opinion?"

"That is my honest opinion." Undyne crossed her arms. "It just changed. It's a matter of perspective, Sans. People change."

Sans looked at the ground, trying to make a comeback. Instead, he accepted defeat because he was too lazy to refute. "thats reasonable."

"HEY! I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO SANS! WE'RE STRAYING AWAY FROM THE MAIN POINT OF THIS CONVERSATION." Papyrus pointed at the corpse. "WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?"

"uh, gaster said he needed a legendary artifact in waterfall. like a red jewel or something." Sans shrugged, picking up Gaster's lifeless arm before letting it drop like a rock. "hes probably putting me on a wild goose chase so that he can sell it for cash once he actually comes back to life. but uh... thats what he said before he conveniently vanished when you guys came in."

"A red jewel in waterfall?" Undyne knew what that was. "Oh, _that_? I made the secret door to lock it from monsters." she proudly announced as she patted her chest with pride. "Really, I just wanted to make use of the piano, but turning it into a puzzle was the best idea I ever had. Ever since then, I haven't been able to get in. That's how great the puzzle was."

"whats the jewel? was it too powerful for monsters to have? is that why you locked it up?" Sans questioned, still puzzled by how a piece of jewelry could help Gaster come back to life.

"Eh, some kind of mosquito repellant. It's lots of things too."

"WHY WOULD GASTER WANT A MOSQUITO REPELLANT? THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO ADD UP IN TERMS OF REVIVING HIM."

"i dont know. but from here on out, i guess its team sans all over again." he said with a bigger grin than before.

Undyne groaned, looking to the ceiling. "I hate Team Sans."

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET TO CALL THE SHOTS?" Papyrus demanded as he placed his mittens over his hipbones. "WHY CAN'T IT BE TEAM SUP? THEN IT WOULD BE BALANCED AROUND ALL OF US BECAUSE SUP HAS THE FIRST LETTERS OF OUR NAMES."

"Why is Sans first? Can't we call it Team UPS?" Undyne asked.

"thats the worst thing i have ever heard." Sans said, "we'll simplify it to team sans." Before anyone could respond, Sans clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "well then, what are we waiting for? team sans! lets get to waterfall and get that jewel."

"I'm debating in my head whether or not this is worth it."

* * *

 **A/N: Team Sans. It could mean "team without". So, uh, yeah. Review.**


	6. Undyne's great puzzle

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

"Why did you spare me?"

"Because I need help." Chara answered sternly. " _Your_ help, prince."

"What do you think I can do?" Flowey asked, squinting at them.

"Something's come up. Monsters are playing hide and seek... My no-mercy speedrun was _ruined_." Chara gritted her teeth. "So far, I've found a ghost that does nothing but taunt me—"

*A ghostly laughter sends chills down your spine.

Chara waved the box away, "Useless boxes have been plaguing me. You're the only monster I've found so far, and I can't kill you this early. I know you have powers and probably the ability to sense other monsters, so can you please do me a solid and help me kill them? We're still bros, don't forget."

"Why don't you just reset?" Flowey inquired.

"I can't," her eyes darkened, "looks like _someone's_ got more determination than me."

"Oh boy. I wonder who _that_ can be." Flowey stated sarcastically, "Pssh. Yeah right. Don't play with me, Chara. You've been reseting the universe over a thousand times. What's different this time? Another human? Another entity that transcends your determination?"

"It's just like what happened with you. You were a _god_. Now, I had my time as god. But that power has been stripped from me and taken by someone, who luckily hasn't reset the universe yet." Chara replied.

"What, you want me to help?" Flowey chuckled as he said it. "Oh, I was god. And then you took that from me. And now you're asking _me_ to get that back for _you_?" He shook his head. "No can do, bro. Just let the new player have their fun, like you and Frisk did. Monster, human, demon, what's next?"

"During hide and seek? Monsters are waiting for me to find them. And they're damn good at this." Chara remarked.

"Yeah, we take it _seriously_."

"But not you, prince."

"Shut up about that, will you?"

"You are the worst monster in the history of monsters." She shook her head disappointingly, "Can't even hide from a human."

"You taunted me."

"Couldn't keep yourself quiet, could you?"

A box nailed Chara in the face.

*You feel a bad stirring in your stomach.

*The air feels ominous.

Chara's eyes darkened. They clenched their fists hard. Flowey noticed the distress in Chara's situation.

"Something's come up." she said. "Someone's coming after me."

* * *

"so, undyne, you made this puzzle?" Sans asked.

"Yeah, I did." Undyne shrugged, her arms crossed. "It took me a while."

"WOWEY! THIS SURE IS A HARD PUZZLE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!" Papyrus leaned closer to the piano, inspecting it closely. He pointed at the crack beside it. "IS THAT WHERE IT STARTS?"

"Yes..." Undyne glanced at what he's talking about, the sighed. "... _No_. It's a musical tune that you have to play in order to open the door." she informed, leaning against the wall. She shrugged, "I don't know what it is. Or how we're going to crack it. So go have a shot."

Sans went over to the piano and swiped his bony fingers across the keyboard, letting a rainbow of sound through their heads.

"ah, thats always satisfying to hear." Sans remarked.

"I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE PUZZLE, SANS." Papyrus advised. He pointed at the crack in the wall again. "I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH THAT SMALL TEAR IN THE WALL."

"Papyrus, I just said the solution lies in the piano." Undyne cut in.

"no no no. i think papyrus has a point." Sans got off the piano and crouched in front of the wall crack. "this may be a clue to figuring out the puzzle."

Undyne groaned. "Idiots."

"the wall crack shows how old this place must be. so, since its ancient civilization era, it couldnt be from the piano that would help us enter the room. i think its something else." Sans rose from sitting on the floor and went over to the other side of the room. He placed a hand on the wall, stepping around and sliding his fingers against the rough exterior. "i think it has some kind of material added. this wall isnt natural. it feels... off."

Papyrus knocked on the wall. "YES. IT DOESN'T GIVE THAT CLICK SOUND WHEN YOU KNOCK ON IT."

"i think its supposed to give a cruck sound." Sans informed.

"NO NO, SANS." Papyrus rubbed his chin. "I THINK IT SHOULD GIVE THE CLICK SOUND. NATURAL WALLS WOULD DO THAT. BUT THIS WALL SOUNDS HOLLOW. IT HAS A QUICK ECHO TO IT."

"which means..."

"WHICH MEANS..."

"Gah, for the love of god!" Undyne cried, "Will you two stop being stupid and do the piano—"

"THIS WALL ISN'T THICK!" Papyrus exclaimed.

"and the wall is aged." Sans added. "it looks thick, but i bet its just a hollow wall."

"IT'S WEAK! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS—" Papyrus was gonna demonstrate by punching it, but he tore the wall off like paper and didn't expect it. So he fell right through.

"by diddly gosh darn, papyrus! you made our way into the room!" Sans applauded.

"ALWAYS A PLEASURE." Papyrus's muffled voice replied as he lay on the debris.

Undyne smacked the side of her head with her hand. "You idiots... are still ingenious enough to figure that out... you really do think out of the box."

Sans grinned at the warrior fish. "tibia honest, i didnt think it would work. i just wanted to infuriate you with our stupidity. but it looks like we're _sooo_ good at this game of life that we _still_ got the job done."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Get the artifact, and we can restore Gaster's soul in his body." Undyne kicked some rocks away, feeling a little defeated by the skele-bros' stupidity.

"alright. just dont let that dog near us." Sans warned.

"What's wrong with the dog?" Undyne asked. She felt like smashing her head against the boulder when saying that. "Except for... phasing through the walls... and snatching Papyrus' leg... and being with you when you uncovered Gaster's body."

"exactly." Sans said.

The short skeleton went in the room, careful not to step on his brother, and got to the artifact without trouble. He placed his hand against the jewel, which gleamed like plastic. He grabbed the spherical artifact which suddenly started to adapt to his fingers. It was like it was made of plastic material.

He got out of the room and just confusedly stated:

"its a plastic ball." he said.

"Yeah. What of it?" Undyne asked, seeing nothing wrong with it.

"was it always a plastic ball?" Sans asked.

"Yes." Undyne nodded. "Why?"

"thats... kinda disappointing." Sans remarked, "its a mosquitto repellant. a soul restorer. and a ball... fit for a dog."

"It's a powerful artifact." Undyne said.

Sans skeptically looked away. "yeah. right."

Papyrus stood up and dusted his battle body. "HEY, WE GOT THE ARTIFACT. NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?"

* * *

 **A/N: We're gonna go revive Gaster, Papyrus. And you guys will stop Chara. Maybe.**

 **I hope you like the new addition.**


	7. The talk about determination

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

BLAM! Chara kicked down the giant door to the real underground, exiting the Ruins.

"You could've just opened it." Flowey remarked.

Chara ignored his incessant remarks and continued forward.

"Why're you in a hurry? It's not like you to head into a _bad time_." the flower added.

Chara trekked through snow, not even bothering to check if Flowey was following.

"Ya know, I noticed a trend." he continued, "First, it was a soulless monster, then a human, then a demon. And now that someone or _something_ took the lead in the determination department, it has to be worse than a demon."

"Worse than a demon?" This piqued their interest. Chara finally turned to look at their brother, wanting to look him in the eye for this. "What could be worse than a _demon_?"

Flowey tilted his head. "You really wanna know?" he asked.

Chara narrowed their eyes at him. "Are you saying you know what has more determination than me, the soul-stealer Chara?"

"In this backwards world, monsters are worse than humans. So, in stark contrastand comparison, the demons should be worse than the... _angels_ , should they not?" he questioned philosophically. "According to the determination chart, a monster like me had determination, which was swept away by a human. There, a horrid name like "monster" has his power taken by a normal name "human". Then the demon took the determination crown, and demons are horrid names, which means that whatever took your place has a state that is normal. An angel."

After considering the thought, Chara noticed something.

" _Backwards_ world?" they noted.

"What's your sexual orientation? You never told me." Flowey teased. "I know you call yourself _princess_ , but that's because _I'm_ the prince and you wanted to be of royalty too—"

"Hey, shut up." Chara interrupted, turned, and left him in the dust.

"Does that mean you're a guy?"

* * *

"hey undyne. ive always wanted to ask you this..." Sans pointed at her eyepatch. "what happened there?"

"Oh this?" She pointed at it herself. "Well, I had a toothbrush incident."

"yikes." Sans remarked, concerned. "did the toothbrush gouge your eye out?"

"No..." Undyne lifted her eyepatch to reveal a working eye. Sans got scared for a moment in case he saw something nasty in there. But nope, both her eyes were fine. No scarring, no hole, just a perfectly good eye hidden under the eyepatch. "I accidentally bought an eyepatch instead of a toothbrush." she explained.

"oh... i thought by incident it would mean you mean you did something stupid with the toothbrush and had an accident that led you to missing that eye. gosh, that would've been stupid if a warrior like you got their eye poked out by a toothbrush." Sans replied.

"Eh, I kinda get that a lot." Undyne shrugged, putting the eyepatch back on.

"GUYS, I THINK I GOT IT TO WORK." Papyrus announced, holding out the orange ball. "YOU JUST HAVE TO SAY IT IN REVERSE! EASY AS THAT." He raised the ball. " _LUOS S'RETSAG EKAT_."

"how did you know that would work?" Sans asked.

"THE LETTERS TOLD ME." Papyrus answered.

"letters?" Sans looked over at the pile of paper that was scattered around to have an outline that wrote SAY IT IN REVERSE. "oh. letters."

"How would that work?" Undyne asked.

"I DUNNO." Papyrus replied.

"dont question it." Sans said.

The ball glowed and pulsed with life.

"I THINK IT WORKED."

Sans pushed Gaster's body forward, letting it fall flat. "put it there. in his ribcage probably."

Papyrus did as Sans said, and let the orange ball fit over Gaster's dress. It glowed and Gaster's eyes flung open. Sans and Papyrus flinched. Undyne snorted. Gaster pulled himself up and stood, patting his chest and looking around.

"Woah..." was his first word after revival. "This is weird." Gaster remarked.

"Yeah, you're technically still dead." Undyne bluntly said.

"youre lucky you had that cloning failure i guess. the rest of us have to deal with body failure after death. we turn to dust _immediately_." Sans mentioned.

"WHAT CLONING FAILURE?" Papyrus asked.

"oh, you know. gasters a scientist. he gets to do things like that."

"DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A BABY, SANS. I KNOW THAT."

Gaster held the orange ball in his stomach, like a fat stomach. "Huh. I gained weight." he stated. "But I didn't even get to eat anything yet! This is so unfair. I have to go on diets and lose this fat." He patted the ball, thinking it was his stomach. "But monsters don't digest stuff like humans do, so what... Oh." Gaster realized he was patting the orange ball that gave him life. "That... uh... You didn't hear me say anything."

Undyne blinked, "This was our royal scientist."

"and hes our best bet to fight the human." Sans added, unamused.

"WHY IS IT THAT YOU KEEP SAYING THAT GASTER WOULD FIGHT THE HUMAN? WHY CAN'T WE FIGHT THE HUMAN?" Papyrus asked Sans.

Undyne and Sans looked away from Papyrus.

"WHAT? UNDYNE? YOU'RE IN THIS TOO?" Papyrus exclaimed bewilderedly. "WHY CAN'T WE FIGHT THE HUMAN?"

"I probably can. Uh, you..." she scratched her nonexistent nose, trying to find a reason. "...you're still inexperienced."

"youre a roll of cinnamon, pap." Sans explained.

Gaster danced beautifully around them, humming a tune.

"I'm going to defeat the human!" Gaster exclaimed, running away and towards the caverns. "WOOHOO! I FEEL ALIVVVE! I'M ALIVE!"

Undyne stared bemusedly. "What the hell..."

"ughh..." Sans facepalmed.

* * *

 **A/N: Gaster is... I don't know. Ecstatic is probably the word. I hope you like this new chapter.**


	8. Long way down

**Hide and Seek**

 **(WARNING: it's more... _adult-ish_ now? I guess? Just be warned. Also, it's twice as long as the usual stuff. So, it could be deciphered as two chapters in one.)**

* * *

"HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIDE!"

Chara's head perked to the direction of the scream. Flowey narrowed his eyes at the echo through the waterfall area.

"Dear god..." Flowey said.

Chara went closer to that direction, still viciously quiet.

"I'M NOT DEEEEAD! REVIVED MYSELF! TO CROSS OUT WHAT I'VE BECOME! Though I don't know what that meant, it just fit the rhythm at the time!"

"What the hell is that?" Flowey asked.

"IN THIS FAREWELL! THERE'S NO BLOOD! THERE'S NO ALIBI!"

Flowey continued to look puzzled. "Okay. Seriously. What?"

"It's my angel." Chara smirked hungrily, their eyes glowing red. "I'm going to be God again."

"What about me—"

"Nobody cares!" Chara groaned. Instantly, she went and quickly dashed her way to the sound.

Flowey sniffed, "I'm sure a lot of people do." He scrunched his face. "What am I saying? People _love_ me." He turned to Napstablook behind him. "You love me, right?" the flower inquired.

Napstablook stared at him for a moment.

"I was never here..."

The ghost faded away, completely vanishing.

Flowey snorted, looking back at front. "He totally loves me."

* * *

"OH MY GOD, HE'S SO LOUD!" Papyrus commented about Gaster.

Sans and Undyne looked up at him, annoyed.

"WHAT?" the tall skeleton asked.

"we have to find gaster quick before he gets into any more trouble." Sans said.

"I haven't had my bowl of cereal yet." Undyne whined, "Can we do this later?"

Sans slowly turned to Undyne. "bowl of cereal?"

"What?" the warrior fish asked. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Sans took out a ketchup bottle from his coat and gulped it down. "i cant argue against that."

"Gimme' that." Undyne snatched the bottle from Sans and popped open the cap. She ate whatever sludge of ketchup there was in the bottle. After that, she said, "Bleh! Ketchup is the worst. Why did I think a condiment would be the perfect substitute for cereal?"

"YOU WERE HUNGRY, UNDYNE." Papyrus told her.

"Thank you, Paps. I can always count on you to tell me the obvious."

"WAS THAT AN INSULT?"

Their conversation was shrouded out again by the eruption of a loud noise.

"THINGS THAT BOTHER YOU, NEVER BOTHER ME! I FEEL HAPPY AND FINE! HAHAA! LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT, LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT, HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME!" Gaster sung at the top of his lungs, practically screaming. He was going to do things he never did while he was alive, even if it was stupid. Just in case he dies again.

"oh my god," Sans chuckled, "where does he get his flow?"

"That was terrible." Undyne commented. "Whatever Gaster says is terrible."

"I FEEL EMOTIONALLY DISTRAUGHT." Papyrus told them.

"AND I SET FIRE TO THE RAIN! WATCHED IT POUR AS I TOUCHED YOUR FACE!" Gaster screamed, running down the boardwalk. It was getting dark, darker, yet darker. Team sans followed his shenanigans, down to the place where Undyne would strike the floor the human would stand and let them fall to their deaths in the reset timelines. Ya know, that part of the game.

Gaster sped till he was by the edge of the chasm, laughing his ass off.

Team sans stayed close, but not too close.

Gaster continued from the last part of his song. "...WELL, IT BURNED WHILE I CRIED, 'CAUSE I HEARD IT SCREAMING OUT YOUR NAME, _YOUR NAME_ —"

"Royal scientist Gaster."

Sans flinched at that voice, as the others turned to find a child in a green sweater with glowing red eyes. Papyrus and Undyne felt the pits of their stomachs widen. Gaster pouted.

"You don't exist." Chara stated menacingly. "You're not supposed to exist."

Undyne was about to ask what that child was doing there (because only children wear striped sweaters), but Sans held her and Papyrus away.

"Hey, I only died because I swam in a pool of determination, aight?" Gaster replied, "It was awesome."

Chara's smirk widened tremendously. "You swam in a _pool of determination_?"

"Yeah, funding was expensive as heck. I had to ask Asgore to raise the taxes." Gaster admitted.

"OH. MY. GOD!" Undyne suddenly fumed, Sans holding her back. "IS THAT WHY I HAD TO PAY SEVENTY DOLLARS FOR A TOOTHBRUSH?!"

"Relax, it was all in good caus—Wait a minute, SEVENTY DOLLARS FOR A TOOTHBRUSH?! THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!" Gaster exclaimed bewilderedly. "WHAT THE HELL DID ASGORE NEED THAT MADE A _TOOTHBRUSH_ COST THAT MUCH!?"

"ENOUGH!" Chara shouted, shutting up the two monsters. The demon pointed at Gaster. "You possess my reset button! I'm going to kill you so I can get it back!"

"thats not how determination works." Sans muttered. "you do realize if gaster has the reset button, youre just a boss battle to him, right?"

"SHUT UP!" Chara shouted. They raised a toy knife, letting it glint in the light. They raised their other free hand and curled it into a fist. Chara rushed at Gaster with intense speed, swinging their fist into his ribs to break them. With her speed, the amount of pressure and force output would be enough to—

CRACKKK~!

"AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Chara cradled their arm.

"HAH! HOW'D YA LIKE THAT, YOU LITTLE PUNK BITCH!?" Gaster screamed ecstatically in their face. "YEAH! WOOO! TWICE THE DENSITY OF REGULAR BONE!" He pointed at himself, jumping around. " _SCIENCE_ , BITCH!"

Chara grunted, looking down to see a disfigured hand. "Fucking... HELL!"

Sans gasped. "they... they _swore_!"

"THE CHILD JUST CURSED!" Papyrus exclaimed, holding his cheeks with his palms. If he had cheeks.

"You cussed!" Undyne pointed out.

"This is supposed to be PG-13." Gaster stated. "Child, what you did was against the rules. You can't say _hell_. Now that's just rude. Hell doesn't exist. I would know; I _died_!"

"I don't fucking CARE!" Chara stood up, holding her hand tightly, tears running down her red eyes. "I am CHARA, the demon of personal greed! Princess of the underground—"

"you cant be princess if youre a guy." Sans stated. He immediately realized his mistake. "are you a guy? oh no, did i mistake you for a guy all these years? this child is a _girl_?! ive penetrated you with bones—"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Flowey popped out of the ground beside Chara. "That's three times already that you dropped the F-bomb! Time out, young lad!"

Chara gritted their teeth. "HELP me, you FucKIng serial killeR!"

"Did... did you just... did your voice just crack?" Flowey held in a laugh.

"You're DEAD to me, Asriel!" Chara exclaimed. "No more sex for you!"

Flowey blushed brightly, but at the same time was confused. They never did... _that_. The thought came into his head and he just felt like killing himself. Then he realized they were trying to ruin his reputation, and this time it was for real! Four monsters just heard it!

"That's not true!" Flowey instantly turned to the others, sweating bullets. "That scandal is false, don't believe it. To be honest, I'm still a virgin. Yes, I've said it, I'm a virgin. An untouched flower."

The others just weren't able to respond with all the stuff that was happening. Then, Sans just broke the silence out of the four.

"are you a girl or a boy?" Sans asked Chara. "cause that would totally change how i would envision you two together."

"What the fuck is happening?!" Chara pointed her knife at Gaster. "I came here to murder that asshole!"

Gaster nudged Papyrus. "She's talking to you."

"I'm going to get my determination back, and I'll finally be able to complete the genocide speedrun on my one hundred sixty-ninth attempt. I'll never have to play this game again!" Chara exclaimed.

Undyne shoved Gaster forward.

Gaster tripped on a rock and fell.

There was a resounding crack.

He laid there for a few moments.

And then a little longer.

And then a _little_ bit more longer.

"Did he just die?" Undyne asked, completely baffled.

"no, of course not." Sans replied. "hes always wanted to do that planking thing. even though that trend finished years ago."

Gaster pushed himself off the ground and did a head spin.

Chara roared as they ran at Gaster, swinging their knife at him. Gaster stopped doing a handstand and turned serious. He summoned a gaster blaster and let an energy wave rip the air. Chara ran for it, sidestepping and continuing her journey. They finally reached Gaster, harshly grabbed him by the shoulder, and stabbed him with the toy knife. Multiple times. The knife dented.

"HAH! TWICE THE DENSITY—"

Chara flung Gaster into the ground, letting his bony face scrape against the floor. Chara took out her stick and smacked Gaster with it. The skeleton got up and smacked them upside the head, sending her flying back to Flowey.

Chara groggily got up, blood dripping from their face.

Flowey whispered, "Hey!", and handed her a real knife.

Chara took it with a smile.

She charged at Gaster with the knife, its real metal blade hummed for his bones. Gaster blocked it with his forearms, leaving gashes on them. He shrugged, since his face had giant gashes on them too. But he had a weak spot, the orange ball that revived him and housed his soul was still firmly planted in his stomach, in plain sight.

Gaster flipped around Chara, summoning gaster blasters to tear her apart. Chara lunged at Gaster, letting the gaster blasters turn to him. His eyes widened significantly, screaming as he held onto Chara for dear life. The gaster blasters fired and Chara took the moment to roll them out of the way.

Chara kicked him, before slashing his black robes with her knife.

Her slashes were becoming faster and faster, as her determination to attack was growing stronger. Gaster was able to protect his orange sphere, but his HoPe was getting low, and this cheating bastard wasn't letting him have his turn. Well, they were both cheating bastards because they didn't count their turns. Chara kept mercilessly attacking, turning his robe into a paper origami.

"Sans! HELP ME!" Gaster cried.

Sans turned to Undyne. "hey, uh... can you substitute for me?"

"Yeah, sure." she shrugged.

"thanks. youre the best, fish lady." Sans said.

Undyne went in the battle and threw an energy spear at Chara, who noticed and backflipped away. With finesse, Undyne grabbed Gaster's wrist and flung him at Chara, distracting her, while she created a multitude of energy spears.

"That's _cheating_!" Chara exclaimed ironically, watching as Gaster's body flailed wildly at her. "FLOWEY, HELP ME!"

In the background, Flowey seemed to give the "innocent face".

"Who _me_? In _this_ state?" he asked. "Pfft, I can't do crap to these guys. You're on your own."

Chara gritted her teeth as Gaster finally crashed into her, sending both toppling over the edge of the boardwalk. The two screamed for half a second, before realizing their momentum wouldn't knock them into the ravine. A few rocks fell into the chasm, and that was it.

Chara pushed Gaster off her and brought him over the edge. Gaster held her arm tightly, not wanting to fall in. Chara felt her balance stumble, her heart jumped as she almost fell in. The two struggled to push the other into the chasm, their clash looking like a slow dance, except faster and much more desperate.

Undyne was about to shoot her array of spears, but she couldn't fire while Gaster was in the way.

Chara and Gaster were tied in a match of strength. The adrenaline running through the demon's body caused her to match Gaster's with numbed, bloody hands. The two pushed each other, struggling against each others' hands to push one of them off the cliff.

"You're the angel. Where are your wings? Or is this what an angel looks like in this _backwards world_?" Chara asked, her foot almost sliding off the edge of a four hundred foot fall.

"Angel? What do you mean? I'm not an angel." Gaster said, "But I did come back to life. I've experienced death... But that's not the definition of an _angel_."

Chara glanced at the orange ball. She wanted to know something. She retracted her hands, pulling Gaster over as she ducked. She used her knife to slice the plastic ball in his stomach open.

Gaster gasped.

"Oh my god, are you kidding me? I just got back to life!" Gaster exclaimed exasperatedly, his voice glitching out. "ThAT WaS A dicK mOveeeeee!"

Chara felt Gaster's body against her back. That's when she realized she was standing too close to the edge. Her foot slipped, and she found her vision fading away as her whole world went tumbling down. In an instant, Papyrus, with his good-hearted samaritan soul, rushed over to save them from falling.

Papyrus was able to catch Gaster's hand as he slid over the edge of the boardwalk, while Chara...

Chara ultimately fell.

* * *

 **A/N: I had time. So, I made the long-awaited fight between Chara and Gaster. I hope you enjoyed. Please review because this took more than an hour to make.**


	9. MAD DUMMY enters the fray

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

 **A/N: This is actually only 995 words.**

* * *

"Fix me with Photoshop! Phoootoooshhhhop!" Gaster moaned, his voice glitching. "I know you can do it!"

"gaster, youre the only one who specializes in that sorta thing." Sans reminded.

"HOW WOULD PHOTOSHOP EVEN FIX THAT?" Papyrus asked skeptically.

"PHOTOSHO... P!" Gaster said, popping the P sound.

"Wait! I know someone else who's good at Photoshop!" Undyne exclaimed.

"WHO?" Papyrus asked in suspense.

* * *

Chara felt herself land on a bed of flowers.

In the history of the game, they understood this as the same bed of flowers they fell onto in the middle of all the adventures here in the underground.

Did it work? They asked themselves.

They raised a hand, and the useless box faded into reality in front of them.

Their eyes hungrily watched the reset button.

Slowly, but surely, they pressed the button.

They felt pressure behind it.

 _Finally!_ They thought. _I'm gonna get rid of this stupid fucking timeli—_

Their fingers didn't go so far with the reset button. It stayed in its place.

"Oh... Are YOU FU—"

"Young lady!" Flowey popped out of the ground beside them. "Stop with the profanity! That's too much already!"

"Oh, yeah, Asriel? It didn't work! It's not working! I can't reset!" Chara sat up. "Your theory about _angels_? It was wrong! It's not correct! It's false! It's not true! It's a LIE! You _lied_ to me, you shady sociopathic psychopath _you_..."

"Of course, it was a _theory_." Flowey replied, rolling his eyes. "Don't you know what a theory is?"

"You're supposed to represent _facts_!"

"I'm supposed to represent facts? Wait, wha... You have to be mistaken. I never said any of that."

Through Chara's anger, something appeared on the useless box.

*a ghostly chill went up your spine.

*you hear the laugh of the dead.

Chara stood up, yelling at the heavens. "Oh, Napstablook, you copyright bastard! Don't think I didn't forget what you did!"

"What did he do?" Flowey asked.

"He copied my song!" Chara fumed.

"You have a _song_?" That irked Flowey. "I can hardly see you as a singer or a musician of any kind."

"Screw off, Asriel!" Chara stormed away. A number of quotes could be made, but the only thing on their mind was: "You can eat ducking buttercups for as long as you live!"

Flowey shrugged. "I'm dead anyway."

Chara left Flowey by that bed of flowers.

Chara stormed in the way out of the sewers of that hole, and you know where that leads. It leads to the MAD DUMMY. The water in the sewers disgusted Chara, as they walked into a trap. They walked past a DUMMY, who, even though it was Hide and Seek, cannot let himself NOT be contrived. He just had to splash out of the water in front of Chara and scream.

"YARGHHH! I'MMA PIRATE!" the MAD DUMMY yelled.

Chara stumbled back. "What in the what-ing fu..."

"I CANNOT LET MY SECRET IDENTITY BE KNOWN! YOU, A HUMAN, DID NOT REALLY FIND ME!" MAD DUMMY exclaimed, "You see, I'm actually in disguise, thus, you can't legally find or spot me in Hide and Seek. _Knotholes_!"

"You mean... _loophole_." they corrected.

"LOOPHOLES! I said loopholes! There, I said it!" MAD DUMMY replied.

 _I'm just going to kill this guy and... wait. I have a plan! Gang war!_ Chara narrowed their eyes. "I found you!"

"You found PIRATE DUMMY! But not MAD DUMMY! So—"

Chara cut him off. "SO I STILL FOUND YOU!"

MAD DUMMY's eyes widened. "WHA-WHU-WAIT! We-We can make a deal! You don't fear me! Ye-Y-Yes, you do, you fear me a lot—I MEAN, I FEAR _YOU_ A LOT. I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY I DON'T FEAR YOU, but... ahh, that's too complicated already..."

"WHAT IF... I spare you?" they asked casually.

"You'd spare me?" MAD DUMMY raised a brow. "I thought the game was Hide and Seek?"

"I will not say I legally found you. _Unless_! Unless..." Chara smirked, "...you work for _me_."

MAD DUMMY flinched. "As what?"

"As a teammate."

"Oh, that's a... That's a... good offer. I guess. Kinda."

"Say, is your cousin Napstablook?"

"AGAIN WITH THAT QUESTION..." MAD DUMMY sighed, "No. We're ghosts. We're just ghosts. That virgin and I have no relation."

"Napstablook's a virgin?" Chara scrunched her nose. "Augh, TMI. TMI."

"What the bloody hell does that mean? Being a virgin doesn't mean gross, mate." MAD DUMMY stated.

"Never mind." Chara walked through the tunnel and finally got out of the sewer water. They stepped into the crossroads of a lot of destinations. Turning back, they found MAD DUMMY following them.

"What? I'm a teammate, right?" MAD DUMMY asked.

"Yes..." Chara crouched low, spotting a spider. "Where is your queen? May I speak to her? Or, can you call her?" Chara flashed her knife at it, almost scaring the little innocent spider to death. They smirked at it, and the spider ran around frantically. "Find your queen and tell her to meet me."

The spider ran away.

"What was _that_ , lad?" MAD DUMMY asked.

"A meeting with another teammate..." Chara turned to him. "Got some gold?"

"Uh. I'mma ghost."

"You said you were a _pirate dummy_." Chara stated threateningly.

"Oh. Yes, I am a PIRATE DUMMY!" MAD DUMMY hovered away, frightened. "Just let me get some clients. I'll get gold."

As the MAD DUMMY went away, Flowey popped out of the ground beside Chara,

"Woah, besides telling me to go eat poisoned butterscotch pie, you're doing some business." he remarked, whistling.

"It's all part of the new plan..." Chara flashed a smile.

"What're you planning?" Flowey asked.

Chara's grin got wider.

* * *

 **A/N: Another hour used up. I got sick two weeks ago. I'm feeling better.**

 **ACTUALLY, I'm in a mood for letting my feelings out.**

 **What's with the spoiler tags in this archive? I mean, who would get into the Undertale archive... people who don't know jack shit about the gameand get themselves spoiled? It's UNDERTALE man. This little game's full of spoilers. I'm CONFUSED. WHAT'S THE SPOILER TAG FOR? PEOPLE WHO HAVE TWO SECOND MEMORIES? I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THE UNDERTALE ARCHIVE IF YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT IT. LEST, YOU NEED SPOILER TAGS TO HELP YOU ON YOUR MERRY WAY. You don't go onto Undertale without expecting spoilers. Again, the game's full of them. Why would you go onto FanFiction, a place where people from around the world just write something online, and not expect the full story of Undertale? Who would complain if the spoiler tag isn't there? This story doesn't have a spoiler tag and it's fine. People don't fuck with me here. But what about the others? What in the hell does God have to spoil you in a game that you already know about? Spoilers are already everywhere on Youtube. Spoilers will definitely be here on Fanfiction. What the fuck's use on the spoiler tag? In case someone didn't expect Flowey to be the bad guy? Jesus christ, go weep the fucking grand canyon you pieces of shit that go onto the Undertale Archive and need a spoiler warning. What is this even about? What would you get spoiled about? Gaster's in the fucking game? Oh no, I've been spoiled about a mystery that nobody even knows the answer to! You know what I'd think? I'd think, "That's cool bro... yeah, it's um really cool." W** **hat is this rant even about now. Nobodies gonna read here, that's what I'll tell you. Seeing this giant word block will make people steer away. I wanna go watch Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice because I haven't seen it. Nobody's gonna read that. This block of words is too long, nobody will get interested with reading on that they'll just skip it. I'll tell you to say "Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice sucksss" in the review box. But you wouldn't read this. Anyway, I think Captain America: Civil War will be better. X-Men: Apocalypse, uhh no one will watch that. Days of Future Past was a good movie, but I'm not excited about X-Men Apcalypse. Deadpool was good though. R-rated films do good, ya just gotta believe it. Mad Max Fury Road was a good movie too. Great cinematography. Anyway, what's this about? Oh yeah, the Spoiler tag. Jesus christ, why would people go onto the Undertale archive and not expect spoilers and need spoiler tags to guide them? Wait... *checks Undertale archive* Nobody uses the spoiler tag anymore. What's this rant for again? Eh, it's too long and word blocky, no one will actually read this part. I mean, you'd have to be really determined. Uh, good for you, if you actually read all this. I guess, the Spoiler tags about the endings of both stories might come to a shock to people, but that was the appeal back then, people knew there were two to three endings. But now? The spoiler tag is useless. Everyone knows the Undertale in and out in this archive. I mean, everyone reading this will eventually agree with me because this story was full of the spoilers and I didn't even tell you and you didn't even notice. Man, I've been sick for two weeks, and you know what you long for when you get sick? The answer is a cold drink. Because you can never get cold beverages when you're sick. At least, my family doesn't. And I finally got my cold drink two days ago and yesterday, but it wasn't cold enough. But ehh, I digress. What's this about again? Spoiler tags, right... Why did I antagonize them again? I don't get it. I read this block lf text and it doesn't click with me anymore. I don't agree with my box of text anymore THAT I JUST WROTE TWO MINUTES AGO. WOW, WHAT DO I HAVE? TWO SECOND MEMORY? JESUS CHRIST, THAT JOKE WAS IN TERRIBLE TASTE. ACTUALLY, NO IT ISN'T. THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE THAT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT A MOMENT AGO AND USED IT. Huh, this is taking up most of the chapter now. I mean, it only had a thousand word count. Now it's reaching two thousand. Half of this chapter was just bullshit Author's rant. I'm sorry for wasting your time here, I just had to say something about the spoiler tag. Sorry for making you cry the grand canyon, uhh this is an awkward ending. I guess I'll say goodbye as you wait for the next chapter that I'm already working on. My god, this big block of text is just a big block of useless text. I really want to go watch Badman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I think I'll go see that Lego Batman movie coming out in 2017. Give the rights back to Marvel, DC. Marvel will do a good Superman movie. What am I talking about? These are two corporate figures that will never give each other the legal rights to their characters. Anyway, I'll just go away and you'll never have to read another of these big block of words nightmare. Goodbye, have a safe trip, don't let the bed bugs bite. They bite hard, I mean I'm having a rash on my leg... Never mind, I said too much. TMI, TMI, like Chara would say. Anyway, don't let that shadowy figure in your window get you. Hehehe. Made you look. If you're still reading, that is. Uh, never mind, this will be the actual good bye.**

 **((Is this against the rules? No, it actually isn't. You got your story up there. Don't look here. It's the Author's notes.))**


	10. PhOtOshOp (Triple Omega) Alphys

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

Sans, Undyne and Papyrus carried Gaster's would-be dead body over to Hotland.

"Hotland suuuucks!" Undyne exclaimed.

The trio carried Gaster's body to the giant metal building that Alphys stayed. They passed the water tank that Undyne recently stole, and slammed Gaster into the entrance. They had no respect for the guy. They just bashed his dead body against the entrance because his bones were "TWICE NORMAL DENSITY, SCIENCE BIATCH".

Once Alphys opened the door from their continuous knocking, Sans wasn't as tall as Undyne or Papyrus, so when he helped carry Gaster into the building, he accidentally smacked Gaster's skull into the side of the door.

"SANS! DO IT PROPERLY!" Papyrus chided.

"hey, not my fault im hella short." Sans replied.

"J-J-J-Jesus, g-g-guys..." Alphys stammered, "Isn't that a-a-a-a little bit o-o-overkill?"

Gaster's jaw hung out. The ghost in him yelled, "STooopp sTTTUTERrinnnGg!"

"Look who's talking..." Alphys muttered.

"We heard you're good at Photoshop." Undyne said.

Sans raised a brow. "" _we_ _heard"_? undyne, you were the one who specifically told us—"

"Hey, shut up. The negotiator's talking." Undyne told Sans before turning to Alphys. "So, as I was saying, we heard you were good with Photoshop."

Alphys stared up at Undyne with half-closed eyes.

" _Heard_?" she repeated.

"Uh..."

"Don't lie! You watched me photoshop Sans on those pictures!" Alphys exclaimed.

"that was _you_? i thought it was gaster." Sans said.

"It was probably him. I mean, I didn't release any pictures of you, right? All of it were private." Alphys said, covering up some shady stuff. "Moving on..."

" _private_? girl, what nasty shit did you pull with fish lady over here?" Sans demanded.

"Well, I-I guess I c-c-can't—ugh, why can't I stop stuttering—anyway, here are the Photoshops I did." Alphys displayed it over her desktop. "Recognize any?"

"ho-ho-ho-hoo..." Sans chuckled, pointing at one picture. "is that really the eiffel tower? geez, thanks man." He high-fived the memelord. "woah, undyne, is this christmas?"

"Uh..." Undyne trailed off.

"cause your fish butt is grounded. why didnt you show me this earlier?" Sans demanded.

"Dude, what the hell?" Undyne glared at the two short people.

"I FEEL LEFT OUT." Papyrus admitted.

* * *

"Hey, Chara, how do you say your name?"

"What do you mean? You're saying it."

"No, I mean, do you pronounce it "Kara" or "Tshara"?"

"Whatever. You just said my name."

"So, what is it?"

"Chara."

"Oh, that's how you say it. _Chara_." Flowey emphasized, rolling his eyes. "You know, I was just trying to help _people_ ; some _faithful_ _readers,_ about pronouncing your name, but you... you're disgusting, Chara."

Chara turned their head. "I'm sorry, what?" they scratched their hair with their middle finger. "I couldn't hear you over your squeaky voice."

"I don't have a squeaky—arghhh..." Flowey groaned. "You just made them think I have a squeaky voice!"

"You're welcome." Chara turned back to the mission at hand.

Flowey turned to look at us. "#saveFlowey2k16."

MAD DUMMY floated over to Chara's side. "I found gold for you." he informed, dropping a bunch of gold in front of their face.

"Thanks, Dummy." Chara made their knife glint in the dark. MAD DUMMY's eyes widened and he audibly gulped. "I don't need you anymore..."

MAD DUMMY looked as if he were about to pass out.

"I'm just kidding." Chara shrugged, "You're still important."

MAD DUMMY gave a sigh of relief, clutching his heart.

The three sat at the end of the table, waiting for a certain mob boss to arrive. Her spider minions stood guard, easily trapping the trio if they wanted to leave the closed bar house. Which was essentially Grillby's place, except turned to make it look like a meeting between mob bosses. There was even a single light source hanging from the ceiling.

"If the plan works..." Chara muttered, looking around at the spider guards. "...we'll have an _army_."

"Fascinating." Flowey mused. "The plot thickens."

MAD DUMMY scooted closer to Flowey, whispering, "How are you not afraid of that demon?"

"Oh, it's a very complicated story. But little known fact, I'm actually their adopted brother." Flowey informed. "And I've seen a lot of things in my life that would make Chara look like a small puppy in comparison."

"Did you just call me a _dog_?" Chara turned menacingly, red eyes glowing grimly.

"So what if I did, _huh_?" Flowey taunted. "You'd probably like being called a dog. Might be one of your kinks."

"I— _what_..." Chara narrowed their eyes, looking away. "Don't kinkshame me..." they mumbled on the verge of tears.

"See?" Flowey turned to MAD DUMMY. "He—or she, I don't know anymore—is a loser."

"But they're a _demon_." MAD DUMMY said.

"Oh, so your pronoun is " _they"_?" Flowey sneered at Chara, "I thought it would be " _xe_ "... Look it up, it's a gender-neutral pronoun. Don't flame me. #saveFlowey2k16."

MAD DUMMY and Chara were confused by that.

"What the _hell_ are you on about?" Chara demanded.

"I'm like... on some good drugs." Flowey retorted unwittingly. He looked away, repeating his retort in his head. " _What_."

Suddenly, the character they were waiting for showed up. The spider lady Muffet walked down the aisle with sunglasses and a scarf, whipping her hair out. Her spider guards stood guard beside her, while her _pet_ followed close behind.

"Jesus." Flowey remarked, "Her pet is... is..."

"Adorable." MAD DUMMY smiled.

" _Horrendous_." Chara grimaced.

"That cupcake has like... not enough legs." Flowey noted, eyes widening at the realization. "It only has six legs! It's not like a spider! It's _impure_!"

"Guys guys guys, composure, keep it cool. Stay calm." Chara chided, slapping them away.

"What did _I_ do?" MAD DUMMY whispered.

"#saveAsriel2k16." Flowey whispered back.

" _See_ , that? That right there?" Chara turned back to him. "What the _hell_ is that?"

"It's just..." Flowey chuckled, lying, "...some good drugs, maaAn."

"Your voice cracked."

"Shut up, Dummy."

Muffet cleared her throat, gaining their attention again.

"Jeez, WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH US?" Flowey shouted.

"What do I want?" Muffet gave a disapproving huff, looking them up and down. "If I remember, YOU called ME here. And I have to say, you don't look like what my spider described, you look like a talking flower."

"I CALLED YOU HERE." Chara shouted.

"What's with the shouting?" MAD DUMMY asked.

"This table's too long, and she's on the other end, so..." Flowey trailed away, shrugging his head around like you would shrug your shoulders around.

"She can't hear me from here?" MAD DUMMY asked, looking dead on at Muffet. "Your hair looks terrible."

"Your feet stink." Flowey added.

"Your eyes are like black holes. Just... that's just..." MAD DUMMY felt his stomach flipped, realizing that Muffet's eyes do look like sockets. "...oh god. What have I done to myself?"

"Shit, dude." Flowey trembled. "Why'd you have to say _that_?"

"I thought—I thought-"

"Shut the hell up, you guys!" Chara slammed their fist, glaring back at them. "I'm right here!"

"You're not Muffet." Flowey and MAD DUMMY said at the same time.

"No, but I noticed her soulless eyes. That freaks me the fudge out!" Chara told them. "And now I have to talk to her! Eye contact! My red eyes won't scare her if I think she's scarier!"

"Oh, sorry, Chara." MAD DUMMY turned to Flowey. "Muffet's eyes look more like beads, don't ya think?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP! THAT'S NOT HELPING!" Chara exploded, bursting out of her seat.

Muffet coughed, taking their attention. "It looks like you three have a lot to discuss." she said. In hindsight, it sounded like she was a teacher about to punish three students.

The three were silently confused. After a while, Flowey spoke up, "YOU'RE NOT OUR SCHOOL PRINCIPAL. THAT THREAT DOESN'T WORK HERE!"

Muffet narrowed her eyes.

"Why don't you sit closer? Shouting's gonna hurt your throat. You're gonna need your abilith to scream later on."

The three had chills going up their spines simultaneously.

"I-I think I miscalculated." Chara confessed. "I thought she was a mercenary for Mettaton... but what the heck is she?"

"Isn't... isn't being scary part of being a mercenary?"

"Mettaton would crap his pants being two feet away from her. How'd he get her to try to kill me all those times?" Chara replied, scratching their hair.

Muffet, again, cleared her throat.

"I suggest by your tone you think of me as a mercenary?" Muffet asked professionally.

Chara went silent, whatever color they had on their face was drained.

"She... S-She could hear us?" Flowey stammered.

"I'M SORRY! I'M A DEAD SPACE PIRATE! BUT THIS DEMON HAS TRAPPED ME!" MAD DUMMY exclaimed.

"That hide and seek nonsense." Muffet remarked, taking off her sunglasses. "That skeleton just made the whole world go into hiding. What did that accomplish? It didn't help in killing you, did it?" She shook her head, leaning back on her chair. "No no no... Chara, the so-called demon. You're still alive, and you want my help. Presumably to exterminate Sans the skeleton, his brother Papyrus, the warrior Undyne, and any more allies. **Am I correct?** "

Chara and MAD DUMMY jumped from the suddenly evil tone of her voice, while Flowey looked offended. "I am _against_ bold letters in writing. I can't handle how it looks in contrast to other words, it's distracting."

" **Well, too bad!** " Muffet shouted, before realizing what Flowey said. " **Wait...** _What_?"

"Well, it just... the bold letters look bad in the story—" Flowey tried to explain, but stopped himself. "I should pause. #saveFlowey2k16. Peace, I'm out!"

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry, I don't participate April Fools' day. Anyway, have some of that up there instead. And then back to waiting.**


	11. Story of Six: Part I

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

 **A/N: I didn't know how to continue. So I decided to make a side story featuring the fallen six. Take it with a grain of salt. Not really humor.**

* * *

Thrown into a hole because everyone thought he's a witch.

That, people, is not justice.

Jason thought his life would end there, falling into a dark ditch. He'd be a splat all over the floor. His life slowly flashed before his eyes, realizing he led a boring but painful life. That all faded away when he noticed he was still alive seconds after he was thrown.

Groggily, he got up, patting his head for his cowboy hat. It was still there, safely worn over his soft brown hair.

How was he still alive?

Jason got on one knee, holding his aching body, as he looked around. The light helped him see the rocky caverns and the patch of flowers he fell onto. They were yellow, his favorite color. Jason tipped his hat up, looking above at the white circle that was his exit. The climb up would be tough, but nothing he can't handle.

His thirst for justice was pushing him forward, driving him towards a single goal. Getting out of here and stamping the mark of justice on the townsfolk.

He was eleven. Had a strong imagination of being the hero. Also had that giant ego most children have.

That sense of being the center of everything.

He still had a life ahead of him that he never accomplished. Even with all that, he still had a boring life. But only this day, it was painful.

Jason limped over to the side of the cavern walls, brushing his warm fingers against the cold hard rock. He displayed disgust over his now chalky hands, and dusted them away. He contemplated up again, trying to form a plan to get out, while also wishing this wasn't happening.

There were vines draping over the stony walls, low enough for him to see but too high for him to reach. He thought he could use them. Make a rope or something.

He pulled out his empty gun out of the leather holster on his waist and aimed it at a cluster of vines.

He pulled the trigger and yellow bullets spewed out and attacked a row of vines. They fell with a heavy smash against the ground. A puff of dust circled the area.

Jason put his gun back into the holster nonchalantly.

It was his secret. He kept this from the townsfolk, knowing that they'd think of him as a witch. But after his father's unfair execution, Jason wanted justice and tried to shoot those who he deemed bad. It was shortlived, and by the end of that day, he was at the bottom of this pit.

He gave a loud sigh, going over to the vines and started working on them.

He worked a lot in the house when father and mother didn't entertain him. He made knots and strong ropes in his spare time. Father would appreciate it and sell them for gold, while mother put it around as decoration in the house. They were always appreciative of him. He was a good child to them, since he never stood out of line.

Which meant he was boring. Not taking risks. Not fun to the other children.

Of course, they would all go sneak and ride off with their parents' horses. Maybe dare others to touch the lone cactus in the middle of the desert town they called home. The sheriff didn't mind them. Children were reckless, he would say.

After a while, Jason finally made a sturdy rope, which were just vines bound together and tied end to end.

Now, all he had to do was...

"Aw, horse manure!" he cursed. "I can't climb up there if the rope is right here with me!"

Jason was about to give up, but his want for justice prevailed.

He slung the rope over his shoulder and tied it into a loose knot, securing it but loose enough so that he could untie it, to tie the rope to the end of the lowest vine. He knew he wasn't going to climb the pit in a single try, he made a plan that this rope would be there so it would be easier to climb if he failed and fell in again. That way, his effort won't be in vain.

Jason had a thought of just giving up there again, but he forced himself to scale the side of the wall. At first, it was easy, pulling himself up with stones that peek through the wall. Then, it got harder. His fingers were dirty, scraped or slippery with dust, and his arms would complain about his entire weight. He only got to a few feet, before he decided to rest. Sweat washed over his face, which he couldn't wipe or he loses his grip. His heart jumped whenever he lost balance.

He held himself close to the wall, his muscles were in excruciating pain, and he had made it to twice his height. In all honesty, he was not very tall.

Suddenly, Jason felt himself slipping. It didn't help that his vision was darkening and that the back of his brain was telling him that he had pushed himself to the limit.

He imagined his mother's grief-stricken face, and knew he couldn't lose. Mother was alone. Father's death wasn't fair. He sought for justice.

He kept pushing forward.

Not another inch and already Jason began to slip. The soles of his boots tried to grab onto some foothold, but it repeatedly slid off. His heart jumped out his chest as he knew he didn't succeed. He could try another day, perhaps, but... he didn't feel like that was gonna happen in his exhausted state.

Ultimately, his body failed, and he fell back. His vision draining color and all life sucked out of him.

He failed.

* * *

Karen loved her parents very much.

She loved her friends and family and gave them all the kindness they deserve. They all loved her back, cherishing her kindness. Everyone in town thought she was the best kid the world could have. She was generous, caring, friendly, polite... almost every good quality a person could have.

So, why?

Why did she of all people wander off into a hole?

She was trying to make breakfast for her parents. They loved her scrambled eggs and ham sandwiches. The way she made them and hummed in the kitchen, merrily going on with her life. She was so nonchalant with a content smile on her face. She had already prepared the food, when Toby (her pup), suddenly bolted out the door and into the forest. Karen followed him, not wanting him to get lost in the woods.

She brought her frying pan to try to get Toby to smell in the air what she had recently cooked so he would come back. Frankly, he never did. So, Karen kept trekking in the woods, holding a frying pan and wearing an apron that was stained due to a barbecue accident. She berated herself for looking like a total idiot in the woods.

Slowly, she tried to listen for Toby, but she had a misstep, and her foot went all the way through the autumn branches and leaves. Her whole weight carried into it, and she fell into the covered rabbit hole.

Karen landed on something soft.

When she woke, she had a mouthful of petals that she had to spit out. As she regained her full senses, a sense of dread came over her as she realized she had fallen into a deep hole. Looking up, she could only see a white circle that led to home. And surrounding that white circle was the dark, mysterious walls of this cave. Her eyes went down and she found herself on a bed of flowers, with another boy laying on his side.

Immediately, she stood up, focusing on this boy closely. He was wearing a cowboy hat, a yellow shirt with a sleeveless jacket over, and then a pair of jeans, topped off with cowboy boots. There was a sturdy vine wrapped around his torso. He also had a gun holster, but the boy didn't look older than twelve.

She was twelve years old. Fallen into a deep hole. And the only other person around was a boy who looked like he lived a hundred years ago. Her parents and friends must be so worried about her. She hated feeling guilty of something like that. And Toby! What would happen to him?

First, she decided that she should ask the little boy if he knew something. Maybe he came here often and knew the way out. Why else would he be here, sprawled out and dozing off? It couldn't be that he had accidentally fallen in here as well... the hole was covered with twigs and leaves when she got there. It was hidden well.

"Hey," she gently prodded the boy. "Um, excuse me? Do you know if... Uh, hey..."

"Mother," he mumbled in his sleep, drool coming out the side of his mouth. He grumbled, his facial expression twisted into contempt. "What's wrong?"

"Uh..." Karen chuckled softly, "...I'm not your mother."

The boy's eyes fluttered open slowly, adjusting to his senses. He rubbed his eyes, gradually sitting upright. Suddenly realizing where he was, he stood up immediately, face engulfed with rage.

"No. No no no no NO!" he screamed, rushing over to the stone wall. He looked up at the exit, the bright circle was the only thing helping them see. He hurriedly tried to get out, climbing the first few feet with invigorated energy, before falling to the rocky ground with a painful THOOM.

Karen gasped as she went over to his side, hand gripping the frying pan so hard her knuckles turned white. She had to admit, she was frightened when the boy's actions were utterly relentless and savage, but as she looked over at him, she noticed he was curled up into a ball and bawling. The poor boy was scared of this place too.

She rubbed his back as he cried, helping him let it all out.

After a while, his crying stopped and turned into light sniffles. Karen hugged her legs close to her body, watching the cowboy look at the ground with unhindered rage.

"You've been trying to get out of here as well?" Karen asked softly.

He nodded, glancing up at her. Her dress was foreign to him, as he didn't know what she was wearing. He dried his tear-stained cheeks with the back of his hands. "Did you get thrown in here like me?" he inquired.

"No, I've... fallen." Karen was concerned about the boy's question. Why would anyone throw a kid down a hole?

Jason looked at her funny.

"No. That's impossible. You couldn't have just... fallen."

"Well, I did." she replied.

"Then you're stupid." he accused.

Karen blinked, "Stupid?"

Jason rolled his eyes, tipping his hat ungraciously. "Nobody could've accidentally fallen into this hole. It's pretty out there."

"It was covered with leaves and branches."

"You couldn't walk around the leaves and branches?" he retorted.

Karen was utterly confused by him. "It was autumn. The forest drops leaves and branches everywhere. I can't walk around that."

Now Jason was utterly confused by her. "What do you mean "forest"? There's no forest around here."

"There is..." Karen frowned. This wasn't making sense. Unless she was crazy or he was crazy, there was no sense or logic to what they know. She looked at his outfit again. "Um, let's start over. I'm Karen Lane." She held out a hand.

Jason stared at it.

"Never heard of you. Also never seen you before." he remarked suspiciously. But he kinda took a liking to her. She felt right, like how justice felt right. He gave his name. "My name's Jason Trent."

Something about that name made Karen think. She thought she knew that name somewhere before. She shrugged it off as a coincidence.

"So, how long have you been here?" Karen asked.

"Only for a day." Jason sighed, tugging at the vine slung over his shoulder.

That didn't help Karen. His story didn't add up. If he's only been here for a day, then... Ugh, it made her brain hurt. The only thing she could think of was that he'd been imagining things. Nothing added up. And it didn't help her that she was a stuck in a hole with this other boy who didn't know how to exit the place either.

There was another way that they could use. And they both knew the other knew, and didn't like it. The silence was tense while Karen stared into the darkness of the deep cavern to their side.

Jason followed her line of sight. He merely snorted at the idea.

"I think... we could find a way there." Karen pointed. In the back of her mind, she knew moving would be bad because the hole would be the only way for anyone passing by to see them. And going into the caves would hinder any chance of people finding them.

"You're not serious?" Jason asked as he squinted at her. He stood up and dusted himself. "I could still try to climb the walls..."

"Uh, you do that." Karen shrugged, a small smile evident on her face. "I'll go... do stupid stuff."

Jason had this feeling he shouldn't leave her. He didn't understand it. There was an itch in him that wanted to guard her. He thought it was because he sounded like mother, and her blond hair and was unusual. It looked smoother than others. So, as she went deeper into the cave without any hesitation, he followed her closely, keeping an eye out for her.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry, but this miniseries is all I can think of for now. Just think of it as my April Fools' joke. For the month.**


	12. Flowey's QnA Interlude

**Last time on Hide and Seek...**

"I'm gonna recruit a psycopath!" exclaimed Chara.

"I'm gonna break the fourth wall," Flowey added boredly, before lustfully winking at us with his tongue out. "Call me."

"I'M GONNA BE A GREAT BODYGUARD." MAD DUMMY informed.

"To recruit me and my spider army to fight the good guys, I'll need to get something in return." Muffet said, "Not gold, that's too easy. Maybe... _satisfaction_?" she said as she sexually licked her lips.

A chill went down the trio's spines.

Meanwhile, with the heroes of the story...

"our story is boring." Sans informed, "we did absolutely nothing."

* * *

 **This time on Hide and Seek...**

Flowey sat in a leather chair with a fireplace beside, looking at a book he held with his reading glasses and cigar.

"I'm not old enough to smoke." he stated, throwing the book and cigar into the fireplace.

He looked at us and gave us a cheeky smile.

"So, I'll be taking over the show, because... Chara has to... do something... to gain Muffet's satisfaction..." Flowey informed, his smile turning into a frown as he realized what Chara was doing as he did this.

* * *

With Chara...

Muffet brought Chara to a spa, where they had just gone through a sixty degree water pond. They were steaming, and Chara hated that.

"Oh, my gods... Can we get it over? What's next?" Chara muttered under their breath.

Muffet dragged Chara to another pond, just to cool themselves off.

Chara tried the water, dipping her finger into the pond.

"Jesus, that's like... zero fucking degrees—"

Muffet kicked Chara into the freezing pool, earning a high-pitched scream from the evil incarnate. Chara flailed as they crashed in the waters, the cold running up their arms and spine, chilling them to the bone. Chara flailed their arms, water splashing everywhere.

"NO NO NO NO NNOOO! AAAHHHAHAH! AAAHGGHHAGH! AGGGHHHHHHHHHGHHHH!"

* * *

Flowey stared wistfully at the ground.

He waved it off. "I'm sure Chara's fine."

He moved around a bit in his chair, fearing his life for what Chara was doing.

"Anyway, as I was saying, I'll be taking over the show for today." Flowey informed, "Now, what I'm going to do is answer questions that you gave me. And since, I'M NOT GONNA BE ANYONE'S PLAYTHING, I'm gonna make the questions myself."

The flower brought out a card, reading it.

The question: _What's your favorite color?_

"So, I asked myself what color I liked." Flowey thought about it for a second. "I like PHOSPHENES. I'm pretty sure you've never heard of it before. Look it up. It's like a color, but it's not. I like that color. PHOSPHENES is my favorite color."

Flowey brought out another card.

The question: _What do you eat?_

"It's uh... while in flower form? Interesting question! Well, I eat... uh... how do I say this...?" Flowey contemplated for a moment. "I get what you're asking. You're saying this because there's no sunlight around for me to properly do photosynthesis. Well, I use the hole Frisk fell in to get my sunlight there, that's how... and then water from waterfall... and carbon dioxide and oxygen are everywhere, so... it's perfect for photosynthesis. So, I create starch for myself to eat. Yeah, and then I create oxygen as a bi-product. It's like... my poo. You're breathing my shit."

He scratched his cheek awkwardly.

"Anyway..."

Next question: _How do you break the fourth wall?_

Flowey looked around cautiously.

"Am I... Am I supposed to answer that?" he whispered worriedly, sweat starting to form on his face. "If anyone else hears this, they'd be able to break the fourth wall too. But I don't want a major catastrophe to happen. If it did, we'd get millions of Deadpools. So, uh... sorry, can't answer that."

Next question: _Do you take baths?_

"No," he answered plainly. "Next."

Next question: _Do you know who Gaster is?_

"Well... in this universe, Gaster is a well-known scientist around these places. I mean, c'mon, he's the royal scientist. How long did it take you to learn who Alphys was during your playthrough of Undertale? Of course, I'd know who Gaster is." he answered proudly. He tossed the card back, shaking his head. "He was the fourth royal scientist, right?" he muttered under his breath, thinking for a moment. "Of course he is. Who else would it be?"

Next question: _What's your review on Captain America: Civil War?_

"Total garbage. Absolute atrocity. I was disappointed with the fight scenes. I wanted more of it. I was promised fifteen minutes of the airport scene, and all I got was twenty minutes of it. Twenty! I was promised fifteen, and you give me twenty?! You need to be specific! Spider-Man was great, good Peter Parker. Black Panther was also an awesome addition. Ant-Man's performance was phenomenal. They're a good cast of heroes fighting each other. The second act, the airport fight sequence, is probably the best superhero fight sequence we'll ever get. The third act, the last thirty minutes of the film is brutal... heartbreaking. It's a wonderful movie, dealing with the ideologies of these two big heroes: Iron Man and Captain America. Security or freedom? I'll give it a ten out of ten."

Flowey contemplated at the card.

He blinked at it. _Did I just change my opinion halfway through that review?_

Next question: _Who is Sans?_

"Sans is a skeleton. His name derives from the font comic Sans, which literally translates to "humor without" if you used the literal terms. He's the mascot of Undertale because of his popularity within the fandom and his all-powerful, easy-going, comic relief nature." Flowey glowered. "Little known fact, I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MASCOT. I mean, you wouldn't expect anything from a harmless flower, did you? I'm the very first thing your character, Frisk, finds that is living!"

He sighed.

"#saveFlowey2k16."

Next question: _What's your goal?_

"My goal? Well, now that you say it, I've got a new goal." His eyes burned with determination. "Beat Sans in his own game."

Next question: _What's your favorite food?"_

"I can only eat starch, so..." He tossed the card away.

Next question: _HELP ME_

"What?" Flowey looked at the rest of the cards, seeing that they've been written and scratched with sayings of HELP. "Oh, it's probably my other side talking. Well, I don't have any time left, so I hope you had a great time with me and I'll see you all next time. Adios."

Flowey got off the chair and tossed the rest of the cards into the fireplace. He got a can of gasoline and spilled it all over the place. He walked out the house and watched the house burn.

"Don't worry. It's Undyne's house. It burns down every other Sunday." he told us.

* * *

 **Next time on Hide and Seek...**

While the villains are preparing their next bout, the heroes are in conflict when Asgore Dreemur, King of the undertale—land—world—I don't remember... oh wait, it's underground—

BZZT!

—when Asgore Dreemur, King of something, has launched a new monster registration program that reinforces security in the underworld with the heroic monsters of the underland.

Sans thinks that it'll limit freedom and abuse their civil rights, mostly because the registration program states that he'll become like a part of a super-police and that will make his lazy butt get off the couch. Which he doesn't like. So, he's fighting for his freedom to laze and for his ability to not get work done.

Undyne thinks that the plan is safe as she is already part of the Royal Guard.

The rest of the heroes—Mettaton, Alphys, Grillby, River Person, Gaster, Monster Kid, Temmie, Napstablook, Final Froggit, Madjick, Knight Knight, Whimsalot, Astigmatism, Burgerpants, Nice Cream Vendor, Woshua, Aaron, RG 01, RG 02, Lesser Dog, Greater Dog, Annoying Dog, and some others—will have to choose which side they'll take.

The comical skeleton who'd fight for their freedom, or the fish lady who'd uphold the law of the underground. (Whoever's name is underlined in the above paragrpah is Sans'. That is the rule he gave Flowey, who translated it to me.)

But which side will _Papyrus_ choose? Be a part of the Royal Guard with Undyne like he always wanted? Or help his brother Sans out in a time of dire need?

Tune in next time where you can see the battle play out!

#teamsans or #teamundyne

Choose a side.


	13. Starting of a war

**Hide and Seek**

 **Team Sans: 12 votes**

 **Team Undyne: 15 votes**

I think it's rigged. I got 7 reviews in a row for Team Undyne in five minutes from a guest. I'm _guess_ ing Undyne was so determined to win this contest that she got on the internet and tried to outnumber the Team Sans count. I didn't think that small joke at the end there would get so much attention. But it did. Anyway.

* * *

"Monsters are still playing hide and seek. So we can't have our Civil War." Undyne said sadly.

"awww, i was really hoping to gaster-blast every one of you." Sans said.

"HAHAHA! WELL, TOO BAD! I WON'T BE MAKING RIDICULOUSLY PAINFUL CHOICES!" Papyrus exclaimed boldly. "I AM FREE! FREE TO NOT CHOOSE BETWEEN MY BESTEST BUDDIES!" He then lowered his voice to a whisper. "AM I ON THE ROYAL GUARD?"

"No." Undyne answered. She scratched her eyepatch. "You didn't specifically pick me."

"if he picked you, i'll _specifically_ gaster-blast your face off in a beautiful manner." Sans replied.

" _Beautiful_?" she repeated.

"it's cause i'm fabulous!" he retorted.

 _"That's my line!"_ A robotic voice called from... somewhere. _"You stole it! That's it. I'm copyrighting that line! I'll sue you!"_

"sheesh," Sans shrugged. "i forgot you existed."

"Yeah..." Undyne said, feeling weirded out. "I almost forgot he existed too."

"WHAT? HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE... THE ROBOT GUY?" Papyrus narrowed his eyes. "COME TO THINK OF IT... I WILL ADMIT, I FORGOT HIM."

"dang, what a waste for a hipster joke." Sans kicked a rock on its side. "" _i kinda fancy mettaton. oh you probably never heard of him, he's not mainstream."_ "

"That was a bad joke." Undyne remarked.

"hey, it was improv." Sans told her. "i'm bad at improv."

"THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE YOU'RE IRONICALLY GREAT AT IMPROV." Papyrus explained.

Sans beamed at his bro. He shrugged, "'sides, you dont laugh at my jokes."

"Ha, ha, ha," Undyne laughed emotionlessly.

* * *

Sometime later...

"what do you think the bad guys are doing right now?" Sans asked.

"Probably doing something evil." Undyne said, "I _could_ go after them right now. But, you know. I don't know where they are."

"HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN " _TEAM SANS"_ AND " _TEAM UNDYNE"_?" Papyrus asked.

Undyne and Sans glanced at each other.

"team papyrus?" Sans tried.

"NO! BUT, UH... THAT WOULD BE _PREFERABLE_. I LIKE THAT IDEA. YA KNOW WHAT, THAT IS BETTER THAN TEAM SANS AND TEAM UNDYNE COMBINED AND MULTIPLIED BY A THOUSAND FOLD—"

"I'll never let you on the Royal Guard." Undyne interrupted while crossing her arms, butthurt by an accusation that something was better than her.

"WHAT."

"just get to the point, papyrus." Sans added.

"OKAY, MY IDEA WAS... TEAM _BUTTERSCOTCH_ OR TEAM _CINNAMON_?"

Sans and Undyne glanced at each other again. They nodded at each other understandingly.

"well, that's easy. team cinnamon." Sans shrugged confidently.

Undyne looked uneasy. "You're kidding, right?"

Sans glared at her, looking at her in disgust. "you like butterscotch?"

"Butterscotch is the best damn thing in the whole world!" Undyne stated, "Cinnamon, I can respect, but butterscotch is better."

"take that back! cinnamon tastes a hell of a lot better!" Sans retorted. "butterscotch is _pisswash_!" Undyne gasped. "yeah! i said it. what are you gonna do about it? start a war? try it, buttershit eater! theres no one else to back you up, amirite pap?" He looked around for his bro. " _pap_?"

Papyrus was long gone.

"clever girl, hid before it escalated." Sans looked back at Undyne who shook with rage.

"You! I respected you! I respected cinnamon! But you took it too far..." Undyne exclaimed. "CINNAMON AIN'T SHIT. CINNAMON IS FOR THE WEAK. SCREW YOU THE HELL UP, SANS, AND ALL YOU STAND FOR!" Undyne threw her bottle of water at his feet, soaking his slippers. "You _ASS-_ BUCKET. How even _dare_ you?"

"dont wet my slippers, _bitch-bag_." Sans threatened. "you ass-licking, buttershit-kinking, melamodamiac son of a bastard bag of cowardly chicken-filled gravy goodness... you peuromaic asshole. seventy-feet tall piece of shit you flabbergasting megalomaniac unliving zombie piece of shit. and your pterodactyl wings of justice aint gonna save your ass when im done with you, you overgrown chicken."

"Those aren't even... Those aren't even real words anymore." Undyne replied. "Do you even _sense_ dude?"

"do you even _taste_ , you fathering egg-layer?" Sans retorted, "cinnamon is the best damn thing in the world. your buttershit cant compare."

"First off, I don't think this is about the butterscotch or the cinnamon thing anymore. You're just mad at me!" Undyne stated.

"never! you just have an opinion and i wont stand and live with it!" Sans said, " _change_ your opinion and ill let this one slide, _kapeesh_?"

"Was that an insult at the end there?" Undyne asked.

"no." Sans looked around. "yes. kidding! of course not, you overgrown chicken."

"See? This is what I'm talking about. Those aren't real words. I'm a fish, not a chicken."

"youre a _sperm whale_!" Sans tried, "youre big and fat and youre an overall _sperm_!"

Offended, Undyne gasped and immediately retaliated. "No! _You're_ a sperm whale! _You're_ big and fat and an overall sperm! You're the giant overgrown chicken, because you know what chicken and skeletons have in common? Bones!" She narrowed her eyes. "And you know what? You're a bore, Sans! A _bore_!"

Sans was speechless. "y-y-y-youuu take that _back_!"

Papyrus entered the room. "I have ice cream!"

"Ooh! Ice cream!" They all stopped their fighting and took the cones of ice cream. Undyne and Sans' faces turned to disgust once they realized they were eating butterscotch and cinnamon ice creak respectively. Sans glared at his butterscotch ice cream cone, before glaring at Undyne, and then finding out she was giving him the stink eye. Papyrus happily enjoyed his vanilla cone, when suddenly...

"buttershit is actually really good..." Sans remarked distastefully, crushing the cone in his hands.

"Cinnamon still stands low on my radar." Undyne retorted.

Sans slammed his hands against the table that was never mentioned. "eat the cinnamon cone! eat it! eat it and tell me it tastes disgusting!"

Undyne threw the cone in his face and yelled, "IT TASTES FOUL _AND_ _DISGUSTING_!"

Sans gripped the sides of the table angrily, letting it wobble with his rage. He raised his hand, but stopped himself.

"SUMMON IT!" Undyne screeched. "SUMMON THE DAMN THING! Kill me, you pussycat!"

Sans let out a battle cry. " _marthaaaaa_!"

"Team BUTTERSCOTCH!"

* * *

Chara shivered in a blanket and had a hot towel place over their head. MAD DUMMY stayed by their side, blowing a hair dryer at their face.

Flowey wondered, "I wonder what the bad guys are doing."

"Probably something evil." Chara replied.

"Aren't we the bad guys?" MAD DUMMY asked.

"Shhh, we have to confuse the readers." Flowey told them.

" _What_ readers?" Chara groggily demanded.

"Oh, you actually think they're evil?" Flowey raised a brow. "We're the bad guys."

"What? No way." Chara replied, their voice monotone.

"By the way, call me." Flowey winked at us. "My number is 1-800-team butterscotch and cinnamon tastes great together, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it tastes great together. But what in the actual hell are you talking about?" Chara asked.

Muffet finally came to a decision. "I will join you guys. Your embarrassment and humility are a great reward, considering you're a demon."

Chara groaned.


	14. A new challenger arrives!

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

Sans huffed as he wiped the sweat off his brow.

It had been seven hours since the beginning of the war, and life had not been treating him well. God must've been betting against him. His bony fingers scraped the dirt tunnel he dug for himself. Sandbags surrounded him for safety against stray bullets. He held on to his moss green helmet and peeked over the rocky wasteland.

For miles around, it seemed that the whole Underground had been completely empty. Which it actually was, because all the monsters were still playing Hide and Seek. Sans wiped another drop of sweat off the brow of his skull, wiping his wet finger onto his camouflage clothes. He gulped in a few deep breaths, before venturing deeper into the tunnel he made for himself.

His energy was low. He was depleted of Gaster blasters and telekinetic energy, so all he had was a toy rifle. There were only seven small bullets. Sans picked up a plastic bag of plastic bullets, adding thirty more to his arsenal.

"yesss..." he smiled. "more ammunition. that fish monster wont see whats coming."

Sans crawled under the net of metal hooks; his trap for Undyne the Undying. The skeleton glowered, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He dug his finger into the dirt tunnel, scratching a message on it. It read: I HOPE U DIE.

Sans kept crawling through until he reached the end. He ripped open the plastic bag in a masculine way, pouring the thirty plastic bullets into his rifle magazine. Sans loaded the gun and pulled himself out of the trench. He took his binoculars and peeked over the wasteland. There was still no sign of Undyne.

Sans wiped the sweat off his brow again, turning around and sticking his back against the dirt tunnel. He gripped the rifle tightly in his hands, clutching it to his ribcage.

A paper airplane flew into his dirt tunnel. Sans snatched it out of the air and opened it.

He read the letter.

"yadda yadda yadda... lunch break... ketchup... pause in the war..." Sans crumpled the paper into a ball. "alright! lunch break."

Sans stood up and banged his head against the blue painted ceiling. He rubbed his skull, punching the ceiling in frustration.

"aghhh... what the _frisk_?" Sans cursed.

* * *

Later...

Sans sat on a table with Undyne and Papyrus by his side. Alphys was wearing a chef uniform and presented their lunch. She placed a tray on the table, with three bowls of ramen. One had ketchup all over it, the other had spaghetti sauce, and the last had tartar sauce with butterscotch pie.

Sans sniffed the butterscotch in the air and glared at Undyne. The fish smirked at him.

Papyrus received his spaghetti ramen. "THANK YOU, ALPHYS!"

"Y-y-y-your w-w-wel-welcome," Alphys stuttered. She looked at her beak confusedly. "S-s-t-t-top s-stut-t-terring..." She groaned and went back to the lab. "I'll fix my social anxiety somehow..."

Papyrus began eating his food noisily while Sans and Undyne quietly ate. Papyrus glanced at the two, who were sitting together.

"SO, HOW'S IT GOING?" Papyrus asked.

Sans pulled out a tissue, blew his nose into it, and crumpled it into a ball. He tossed it at Undyne's face, which harmlessly bounced off.

"THAT BAD, HUH?" Papyrus asked, eyes half-closed.

Undyne reached over under the table and brought out a small piano. She cracked her knuckles and began playing her theme song. Her fingers expertly swam through the keys, playing a perfect rendition of _Battle Against a True Hero_.

"YOU... YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT." Papyrus stated.

Sans slammed his fist on the table, and a trombone fell from the sky. Papyrus looked up bewilderedly, trying to find where Sans kept the trombone. The skeleton started playing _sans_.

"SANS, I HATE THAT SONG." Papyrus informed.

Sans harrumphed and played a different song. He started playing the Y.M.C.A. anthem.

"BRO, WHAT—"

Undyne changed tracks and played a cross-triple-fusion between _Harry Potter_ , _Star Wars_ and _Jurassic Park_.

"OKAY..."

Sans rickrolled with the trombone.

* * *

"Alright," Chara smacked their lips. "Now that you're on our League of Super Villains, Muffet..."

"That's copyrighted." Flowey informed.

"Oh, really? That's copyrighted?" Chara contemplated at the diner table. They scratched the wooden splinters off. "What about Legion of Doom?"

"Taken."

"Hmm... Injustice League?"

Flowey looked at Chara with eyes half-closed. "Really?"

"Okay, Team Antagonist." Chara settled. Flowey didn't say anything, so they continued. "So, now that you're in the team, Muffet, we'll have to discuss the—"

An orange cat walking on his hind feet, walked up to them with a smoke in his teeth.

"You asked for evil guys to join your team?" the cat asked, looking at the window diner table with the villains. Chara, Flowey and MAD DUMMY sat in one row, while Muffet sat alone opposite them. The four villains looked at him incredulously. "I'm your man."

Immediately, the three on one row started laughing hysterically.

Flowey started wheezing from laughing so much, and Chara bent over and cackled. MAD DUMMY covered his mouth to try and respect the restaurant worker; Burgerpants. The cat dropped his sunglasses and tidied his leather jacket.

"It's... not even _funny_..." MAD DUMMY said.

"I-I can't stop!" Flowey wheezed, coughing and trying to breathe. "I can't stop laughing!"

"I CAN'T BREATHE!" Chara shouted, sinking under the table, and banging their head against the table stem. They kept laughing so hard they felt like they busted a lung.

Muffet remained silent.

Burgerpants glowered at them. "Fine! I'll go away and wreck the shit out of both your teams!" And he stormed off.

Chara kept laughing, trying to get back to their seat but failing. They slipped and fell and rolled and tumbled and laughed and cackled and reached and slipped again. Rinse and repeat. Flowey laughed so hard his pot fell off the seat and crashed over the floor.

"He's gonna bite us back in the ass, isn't he? HeheheHA!" Chara said between short breaths. They laughed once again. "As-Asriel! Get him back! HAHAHAA!" Chara glanced and then called for MAD DUMMY instead. "D-Dummy! Get 'im back!"

"I-I CAN'T MOVE! I'M PETRIFIED!" MAD DUMMY exclaimed. He continued laughing.

"Muffet! Muffet, man! Get him back!" Chara wheezed.

Muffet got off her seat and went to fetch Burgerpants back.


	15. NeWw UNDeeertALe THeorY 1!

**_URGENT UNDERTALE THEORY!_**

* * *

So, I was in Japan, doing observations in the bioelectric field in bigger human populace, when I was asked by my family to go supermarket shopping for any goods I want to bring back in my home country. So, I stopped checking the kinetic vibrations of animals and went to the store with them.

And I found something _undeniably shocking_.

I checked all of the chocolate goods, because I like chocolate, when I stumbled into the aisle where I found... _it_. This thing was a peppermint flavored mint, and its brand name was...

Frisk.

Frisk had been the name of a company that makes mints.

This is _breaking news_. We have to televise this... Alert the whole fandom! This whole time we thought Frisk was an orphaned child, but in actuality, they had actually been a company that produces breath mints. FRISK PRODUCES MINTS. You know what else produces white mints of fresh goodness? Flowey.

It's all connected. Flowey and Frisk were destined to meet by the Aztec gods to rule over the mint kingdom. Gods. That's right! UNDERTALE is a recreation of the most famous stories among gods! Apollo fell from the sky and turned human, probably because of this revelation I have created, by which Zeus had blamed Apollo for this because Zeus is a fucking bastard! It's a full circle again! And Apollo, he's the god of music, archery and the sun! Sound familiar?

Yes, it does. Because _Grillby_ is a sun that's good at music and archery! All the evidence points to his bartender skills which he shows supreme affinity for when his finger twitches in between frames, producing some kind of evidence towards his knack for using projectile attacks... which is obviously archery.

And these two, Lester Papadopoulus (Apollo's human name) and Grillby are connected to another ethereal being because they're both yellow! And that's right, the god of yellow, Monster Kid's master, Bill Cipher was trying to invade the game. Have you seen all the triangles in the game? They're everywhere! Pointing an indication that a certain triangular shaped Cipher demon had been lurking around.

Back to the point at hand, I've been studying the human bioelectric field and it's possible for a human to manipulate the chemical algorithm of the objects around them to compose a breath mint. Frisk has the power to create breath mints, as shown in reality where the company named Frisk has created breath mints.

Frisk knows Flowey's secret power and could've wrecked him if they wanted to. Frisk is the god of mints. They didn't fall into the underground because they wanted to kill themselves like the fanbase thought. Frisk was the god who fell into the hole, punished by the gods and turned Frisk mortal, which also explains the gender ambiguity because Frisk is a GOD. Frisk can take shape in any form or matter. Frisk is the main protagonist and is the one to free the monsters, because Frisk is god themselves. They had maintained the one power they had associated with breath mints, a godly power to reset the universe.

Frisk, god of mints, is the fallen god who would recieve retribution once Frisk unlocks the underground to reality.

GUYS. FRISK IS GOD. FRISK CAN RESET THE UNIVERSE. FRISK FELL BECAUSE FRISK WAS PUNISHED BY THE GODS ABOVE FOR WHAT FRISK HAD DONE. AND WHY FRISK WAS PLUNGED INTO THE UNDERGROUND, WAS BECAUSE FRISK CREATED THE BREATH MINT.

FRISK IS GOD, PEOPLE. OPEN YOUR EYES.

FRISK CAN RESET THE UNIVERSE.

BOW TO FRISK.

FRISK IS GOD.

BOW TO FRISK...

 _BECAUSE FRISK IS **GOD**._

* * *

"Is this why Frisk isn't in the story?" Flowey asked, livid.

"No, no, little Asriel." Frisk patted the flowerpot. "Frisk isn't in the story because Frisk is GOD. Frisk has other business to attend to. Like Frisk's little mint factory."

"You're seriously incorporating this load of shit into the story." Flowey asked, eyes half-closed. _And you're really gonna use Frisk as a_ pronoun _._

"If Frisk were to intervene," Frisk the god said. "Then there would be no story. There would be no good or evil. There will be no conflict. There would be no plot. There would be no you, us, or me. Because there would only be Frisk. Now run along little one, you have a lot to learn."

Flowey got up and stalked away, muttering, "Creep."


	16. Sans v Undyne and Gaster: dawn of flavor

A/N: Contains spoilers for _Captain America Civil War_.

Ironically does not contain spoilers for _Batman_ _V_ _Superman:_ _Dawn_ _of_ _Justice_.

 **Hide and Seek**

* * *

"Alright, Burgerpants, you and Muffet are in Team Antagonist. Congratulate them, guys." Chara said. Flowey snorted and started to laugh again. Chara punched him in the stem.

MAD DUMMY nodded at the new recruits. "Good to have you on board me ship. We needed more players."

"Okay, so now we need to plan how're we going to destroy Team Sans." Chara informed.

"Uh, petition?" Burgerpants raised his hand.

"What?" Chara groaned.

"Shouldn't we be called Team _Seekers_?" he asked.

"And let the other team be called Team _Hiders_ —" Her ridiculed expression faded. "—well, that's actually a good idea. Their team is called Team Hiders." Chara said, "Point to Burgerpants."

Muffet clapped.

"I know the blueprints to the Hiders' base." Burgerpants added.

Chara clapped her hands over her head and pointed to Burgerpants without looking. "Another point to Burgerpants."

Muffet applauded.

"And I can make food for you guys to replenish HP." he added again.

Chara applauded now. "This man! Give him an award! He's the MVP! Team player right here!"

Muffet joined their applaud.

Flowey and MAD DUMMY weren't impressed. They had been Chara's soul teammates for the entire story and now they had been sided by the new recruits. They hated it. They wanted it back to just the three of them kicking ass and taking names, even though they never did any of that. Point is, they were jealous.

"I hope there isn't much trouble coming up," MAD DUMMY said. "It would be a shame if one of you died."

"Yeah," Flowey narrowed his eyes at the newcomer, leaning closer to Chara. "Even worse if it were the two of you died."

"Didn't you two fear me?" Muffet asked.

"Bitch," Flowey said, "You don't compare to friendship."

" _Friendship_?" Chara stuck out their tongue. "Yech."

Flowey sighed.

* * *

"Hey, what's up? I'm up." Gaster greeted.

Sans and Undyne were playing chess with each other. Sans was winning with his expert strategic tactical awareness skills, while Undyne just sent her forces out.

Sans stood up immediately. "butterscotch or cinnamon? cmon man please youre a good man, side with me. pick the better one and you know which one is obvious."

"Well, yeah, B-scotch." Gaster answered. Sans exploded.

"you traitorous bastard!" Sans pointed his index finger in Gaster's face. "i trusted you! you were my mvp! i freed you! we ruled the world together! how could you? how _dare_ you?!"

"It's my personal preference," Gaster shrugged, "You asked for it."

" _screw your personal preference to hell!_ " Sans threw the chess board in a rage, and Undyne sighed in the background that she didn't lose that chess game. "you son of a birch, gaster!"

"Hey, calm down with the words," Gaster advised, holding up his hands. Sans was shaking. "Breathe _in_ , breathe _out_..."

"shut up!" Sans cried, tears leaking from the betrayal. "shut up! shut up! shut up!" he whimpered, turning away and grasping at his head.

"Are you okay?" Gaster asked.

" _okay_?" Sans repeated in a mocking tone. He turned and even Undyne was ashamed of his morose expression. The tears, the unhappy smile, his eyes were so far out and full of depression. There was a rage erupting from his throat, but it turned into sobs. His brows were furrowed into extreme anger. "do i _look_ okay to you?!"

"You're being melodramatic, Sans. You're usually not like this." Gaster said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

" _no_..." he sniffed, smacking away his comfort. "im not."

"You're being awfully dramatic. It's kind of out of character for you to—"

Sans pulled out a can of spray paint and painted all over Gaster's face, blinding him. Undyne gasped as Sans pulled out a fork and flung it at Undyne, stabbing her in the eyepatch.

"No! Eyepatch!" Undyne took off her ruined eyepatch, a new rage growing in her. She swore to avenge her eyepatch. Her other eye turned black, bright light pointing out of the center.

Sans pulled out more forks.

"Sans, stop! If you do this, you'll die! This won't fix anything." Gaster informed gravely, holding out his hand as he tried to take off the paint. "You only have..." he gasped, "... _zero HoPe_..."

Sans growled. "i don't care." He glared harder than ever before. "you chose butterscotch."

Sans went over and stabbed Gaster with plastic forks. Gaster just used the "TWICE THE DENSITY OF BONE" explanation and slapped Sans over the head. Sans slapped back, instead of his hand, he used the skull of a gaster blaster to bash Gaster away. The old former royal scientist flew into a basketball hoop, before Sans teleported over him and smashed his hand down, breaking the hoop and sending Gaster down.

"you just got _duuunked_ on!" Sans couldn't help it.

"Ugh, for _god's_ sake, Sans..." Gaster mumbled.

"RAAAGHHHH!" a fish lady shouted.

Undyne charged at Sans and smashed him into the wall by swinging her fist at him like a wrecking ball. She held him against the wall, gripping his jacket.

"You ruined my eyepatch!" she shouted, her dark eye shone with fierce determination. "Now I'm going to ruin your _jacket_!"

"nnnoooooo!" he bellowed.

She began to tear his blue hoodie, all of her power put into that shot. Her expression featured pure determination.

Sans struggled against her hold, until he remembered.

BWASSHH! A gasterblaster came out of nowhere and blasted Undyne away. The fish warrior landed on the ground with a thud, feeling as if something was missing from her. She tried to get up as she checked on her suspicions, confirming true that something was _indeed_ missing. She felt considerably lighter, much like something she needed had been vaporised. Like a limb.

Oh god. She-She couldn't feel her...

"MY ponytail!" she cried. "Well, I don't really care that much, BUT REALLY, SANS?" She plopped to the ground defeatedly. "I'm in so much pain... insert incessant groaning..."

Gaster rushed up at Sans, who started blasting him, but Gaster blocked it with— "TWICE THE DENSITY OF BONE!"

Sans tried to fight Gaster with his arsenal of tricks, but Gaster was too strong. Gasterblaster against gasterblaster, bone against bone, Gaster seemed to be better than him in everything. It was Gaster's mercy that Sans was able to dunk him, just like when you went on a genocide run and mercy'd Sans. You got dunked on.

But Sans broke reality now. He had zero HoPe but kept going.

Gaster knew this was impossible, and fighting him would end up stalemating. But Gaster wasn't immortal and had plot armor like Sans. Gaster's health was the one which was depleting.

Gaster smacked Sans against the wall, hitting him with a rain of bones.

* * *

 _i cant win like this,_ Sans thought, _i need to... pray to frisk! frisk, wherever you are... lend me power! pls!_

...

...

...

 _M'kay,_ Frisk responded.

* * *

Somewhere, a flower was shaking his head.

* * *

"SANS, I DIDN'T WAKE UP AGAIN JUST TO FIGHT YOU!" Gaster yelled. "STAND DOWN!"

Sans opened his blue eyes, his mouth tasting like cinnamon. "never."

Blue fire exploded from his body, energy releasing like never before.

"Wait... what? What's happening?" Gaster checked Sans' health. "You... You've got _over nine thousand_ health? How?"

"cinnamon," Sans answered, wiping his mouth. " _pie_!"

* * *

A/N: HOORAY! Because we're the 69TH MOST REVIEWED STORY ON UNDERTALE! WOOOO!

...Uh. Not really much to celebrate really. Unless you laugh at 69 because... you know... *shrugs* It's a * _whistle_ * joke.

I guess you're all wondering about my mental state because earlier on in this story I sounded tired, but now I'm actually a lot more energetic? Did the author get kidnapped and replaced by someone else? Naw, I intentionally made myself sound tired to lure you guys in. Got ya good, didn't I? Now you know, in reality, I've always been... uhhh... calculative and innovative? Ahh, I'll just go with crazy. They're the same thing anyways nowadays...

But now that we're the top 69, we're going to grow this empire and take over the fandom, because that's who we are! We are parasites! We will be _immortals_ —oh don't bother anyways. It was just a joke. Don't take that seriously. Like last time.


	17. This is technically a Civil War

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

 _"Chara always had four followers by their side. Just like the four horsemen from the bible. Or the bible got it from them." ~ Gaster, 545 AD—2006 AD—2016 AD_

* * *

Gaster struck Sans with a slight tap of a kick and dealt eleven thousand points of damage. That one dab just obliterated the hell out of Sans, whirling tornadoes of blue energy out of the skeleton. His over nine thousand HoPe just plummeted back down to zero like nothing.

Sans fell forward, all power he was bestowed upon from the ancient god vanished.

"Alright, Sans, you dead," Gaster sighed. "Now get up."

Sans huffed at his immortal zero HoPe, looking up at Gaster with hate.

"im not gonna side with you anymore... from now on, youre not my pal." Sans squinted his eyes. "youre my enemy. your death will be at _my_ hands..."

"What are you gonna do?" Gaster asked, tempting Sans to run. "You gonna go to Chara and demand a spot in her team?"

Sans shook his head. "no..."

The shorter skeleton stood up, puffing his chest out.

"im on my own. _again_."

And with that, Sans vanished into a cloud of blue. Gaster stared at where once was his friend, his mind blank. Realization hit him and he felt regret. Sans was the monster who first revived him and went through the hell of all timelines. Sure, it was said it was because Sans was sick of it, but he was also tired, depressed, angry... he wanted to spite Chara so he made a hide and seek game that Gaster himself influenced him to make.

Undyne gasped. She didn't mean for it to go that far.

The two powerhouses just stayed in place, shocked at what happened.

* * *

Flowey could feel the whole air turn depressed.

"Now is the time to strike!" he exclaimed. "The air is perfect! Full of darkness and depression! My type of air!"

"How do you know?" Chara asked.

"I'm the god of hyperdeath!"

"Jesus christ, Asriel," Chara facepalmed, "you're like a six year-old trying to be cool."

"Well, screw you."

" _Edgy_."

* * *

Muffet swung over to the metal building, carrying Team Seekers in the net of webs she knitted. Her pet, the Muffin-spider (actually, Muffin- _ant_ , but who cares if it has six legs or eight legs?), was named "Affin", and it slobbered over Chara, Asriel and MAD DUMMY. Burgerpants sat on Affin.

"What kinda name is Affin?" Chara demanded quietly.

"I don't know. Seems like no creativity was put into it." Flowey remarked, eyes half-closed and looking at us.

"Are we still debating if it's a legit spider?" MAD DUMMY asked.

"No," Flowey answered.

The team swung over to the building, crashing through the cardboard walls that were painted to look metal.

Flowey's pot fell forward, crashing against the ground and sliding across Gaster's feet.

"Woah! Two souls in one body!" Gaster remarked, already forgetting that Sans had vanished. He picked Flowey up. "I could easily fix you with some dark magic!"

"Wait, what? No, no, no, you don't understand!" Flowey desperately cried. "If you separate the two of us, you'll be forced to deal with two outer-dimensional idiots!"

"Oh, it's okay." Gaster reassured.

* * *

Undyne stepped forth, conjuring several light spears at the other four villains. Muffet stepped in front of everyone and made a barrier of webs that shielded them from Undyne's attacks. The fish lady rained down hell, as Chara slid away from her focus and ran for her behind.

MAD DUMMY threw his only knife. Undyne caught it and flung it back, stabbing MAD DUMMY in the chest.

"Well, crud," MAD DUMMY laid on the floor and acted dead.

Muffet swung over to Undyne and webbed her feet, before swinging around and charging her momentum to create a powerful kick. Undyne used her spears to cut the web and free herself. She was able to run for it, but Chara caught her back and lifted her into the air with surprising strength. Undyne flailed her limbs, trying to get out of the demon's hold, when they threw her into the air, causing the fish lady to fly in the direction of Muffet's kick.

WHOOMPH! Muffet double-kicked her in the stomach and sent her flying onto the second floor, denting rails and the escalator pad. Muffet swung over to Undyne, sticking to the ceiling.

"Ugh..." Undyne groaned, sitting up. "You got moves. Wanna join the Royal Guard?"

"Sorry, but," Muffet webbed Undyne's arm to the wall. "I already have a job. It's ripping you apart."

Muffet leaped for Undyne, only to be smacked away by a silver thing.

* * *

Gaster made up some magic that started ripping Flowey apart mentally. The flower screamed, "OH, GOD. WHAT AM I FEELING? IT FEELS LIKE CUTTING APART MOM'S PIES! IT'S _SO_ _DELICIOUS_! WHYYYY!?"

"Hold steady, young lad." Gaster held Flowey in the air with magic and brought his hands farther apart from each other, symbolizing Flowey's mental state. "Just a little more and the operation will be complete. You'll be free from diseases! You'll be _cured_! Think about that."

"I'D RATHER NO- _HO-HOT_!" Flowey cried, "I CAN SMELL A _PERFUME DEPARTMENT_!"

"That's the smell of hell. I'd know." Gaster said, "Just a few more seconds. This last part is tricky."

"THEN I WANNA DIE!"

Chara was engulfed by rage once they saw Gaster tearing apart their brother. The demon dashed at the ex-Royal Scientist with renewed vigor, tackling him by the waist and tumbling across the ground with him.

Gaster rolled himself upright, while Chara took on a demon stance.

"That looks like the style of a hellspawn I saw in my time of death." Gaster remarked, wary of his opponent. "Oh, right, uh... remember _me_?"

"It's because I _am_ a _demon_!" Chara charged at Gaster with adrenaline coursing through her veins, already attacking with close-quarter combat. It was unusual, but Chara seemed to be highly experienced with that. They were like a demon, using the heaviest of attacks and using every dangerous move there was. Gaster tried to counter the demon fighting style, but he was really surprised that Chara didn't use this against him last time.

"You almost killed me last time!" Gaster yelled, "I'll make sure that doesn't happen a second—" WHAM! Chara punched him in the stomach, his new soul jumping around his skeleton and making him pass out momentarily. He dropped to the floor and whimpered, "Ow... Why... _again_..."

Chara turned and went over to Flowey, watching his lifeless body on the floor.

"No. No, no, no! Flowey! Asriel! You sunova bitch, can you _hear_ me?!" Chara exclaimed.

Flowey rolled over, eyes clenched. "Ugh. That was weird... Need... Need pie... Frisk, I can't believe I'm asking this, but you did this for Sans... lend me your power..."

Again, the skies above replied.

The box popped up in front of Chara and they dodged it.

"Hah, take that, you—"

The box smacked her.

"Ow." Chara clutched their nose. "That didn't hurt," they whimpered. They looked at the box.

*Frisk lends Frisk's power to Flowey

Flowey sat up. "Ugh... That felt..."

"Weird!" Another voice said.

Chara recognized that one. "Oh god, no."

Asriel stood up away from them, looking at his paws in shock. "I-I... I'm myself again!" he shouted gleefully. "The god of hyperdeath has returned!"

Flowey stared at Asriel in disgust. "Oh my god, is that me? I look incredibly... _cool_."

"Oh my god, Flowey," Chara groaned, "I'm so sick of your shit right now."

"Wassup, man! Your hair spiked up looks way awesome!" Flowey complimented.

"Thanks, me, 'ppreciate it!" Asriel replied. "You look dope too!"

" _Really_?" Flowey asked. "All I am is a flower..."

"Sure you do! Your red eyes are wicked! I wish _I_ could do that!"

"You're... You're literally talking to yourself here!" Chara pointed out. "This is the equivalent to sucking your own dick!"

"Chara, watch your language!" Flowey warned.

* * *

Muffet crashed against the ground outside of the building, skidding across the red hotland dirt. The silver thing that crashed into her stood up and spread its metallic wings.

Mettaton NEO aimed his arm cannon at the spider-thing. _"Give up, spider-thing! You can't beat me—"_ Muffet webbed his mouth. _"HMMPPH! HMMMMPHHH!"_

"That shouldn't happen. You're a robot." Muffet said.

Mettaton NEO ripped out the web and glared at Muffet. _"How dare you! This is a new body—"_

Muffet got on her legs, posing like a casual teen against a wall. "I'm sorry. Who are you again?"

 _"I'm Mettaton!"_

"Sorry, don't know you." Muffet immediately webbed Mettaton's face again, jumped over him, and swung him towards the building. Mettaton NEO was inches away from hitting the building, before activating his flight thrusters and flying off with Muffet on his tail. The two flew over Hotland, with Mettaton decreasing in altitude so Muffet could get closer to the lava. But Muffet climbed her string of web and caught up with Mettaton, sitting on his back.

 _"Tch! Get off!"_ Mettaton flew into a cave, flying higher in altitude to get Muffet off him. Probably by scraping her across the cave's ceiling. _"You've already ruined my day by coming here! Don't make it harder for me to defeat you!"_

"Nope." Muffet jumped off and started swinging around with her webs at the same speed as Mettaton was flying... somehow. Muffet's speed and rising momentum caused her to go faster than Mettaton. She looked back and sprayed some webs at the robot, who dodged them all. Muffet spun a giant web in the front, and slid through the holes of the giant spiderweb trap. Mettaton could get caught with his giant wings, but he folded them and flew into one of the holes.

 _"You've got tricks!"_ Mettaton extended his wings again. He and Muffet got out of the cave, which meant a higher ceiling that Muffet couldn't reach, so she shot a web string for Mettaton's foot and followed him that way. _"Would you care to join me in my popular show, Mettaton and the—"_

Muffet webbed a nearby boulder and swung it at Mettaton, which he destroyed with a blast from his arm cannon. Muffet climbed her web string onto Mettaton's leg again.

"Not interested," she said. "Seriously, what is up with all the job prompts? I'm already busy with trying to kill you."

Mettaton's battery was going low, so he flew back to the building.

"We're back here." Muffet harrumphed as she struck the back of Mettaton's wings. "You don't need this, do you?"

Mettaton NEO erased himself from the body and uploaded himself into a new one that was perfectly safe and not in any danger. The NEO body went sailing through the air, starting to lose altitude, and was ultimately gonna drop into the lava. Muffet realized this and leaped off NEO's body at its highest potential, and shot a web string at the building.

NEO's body crashed into the bottom of the building, letting the whole place rumble and lose its stability. Muffet swung low, nearing the lava, before crashing through the walls of the building, sliding into place.

Burgerpants jogged over to her, tossing her a burger.

"Eat this," Burgerpants told her, before glancing at Gaster. "NOW!"

Muffet dove to the side before a giant gaster blaster skull was thrown at her. Gaster was using his magic specialty at its best to fight the rest of Team Seekers by himself. MAD DUMMY got back up and threw his knife, that was stuck to his chest, _at_ Gaster. The skeleton didn't notice and was about to get hit, when and energy spear came in and sliced the knife in half, grazing only the tips of Gaster's black cloak.

"Damn," MAD DUMMY said. "That was my only one."

He shrugged.

"Oh well. Out with the missiles."

A full missile pack erupted from his back, all ready to be deployed to destroy the place. Undyne jumped in, going to deal with MAD DUMMY, as Gaster dealt with Burgerpants and Muffet. Chara, Flowey and Asriel got back up and were going to join the fight.

"Alright. Gaster and Undyne are the only ones we have to worry about. Mettaton is down and Papyrus and Sans are nowhere to be seen. Be careful." Chara advised.

"We're the bad guys, right?" Asriel asked worriedly.

"Yeah. Do we have to spell it out for you?" Flowey asked, being held in Asriel's palms.

"I'm sorry, but..." Asriel could fell Chara turn to him menacingly and Flowey's glare upon him. "...You're a disgrace, Flowey! You can't even hide correctly!"

Chara softened up. "Heh. He's right."

"What?" Flowey exclaimed in disbelief.

Then Asriel dropped Flowey to the ground, rendering him useless.

"We'll handle this," Asriel told Chara. "Just like back then. Both of us, together forever. Not some demon thing or some flower. The two of us. For real."

Chara smiled at the sentimentality and the nostalgia. "You've really gone a long way, Asriel."

"Yeah, I'm the god of hyperdeath."

"Alright, shut up." Chara prepared themself to go at Gaster, leaving Asriel to watch their back. That was the mistake. Leaving Asriel to watch their back.

"CHARA! NO!" Flowey cried.

"Wha—"

Asriel tackled them to the ground, pinning them there.

"NO!" Chara's face metled with rage. Her red eyes turning black and her mouth widening with anger. "YOU **_TRAITOR_! YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!** " Her voice was serpent-like but kept that resonate sound.

"Ew. Bold text still looks ugly," Flowey remarked.

Asriel struggled against Chara. "I'm sorry. But I can't let you do this."

" **TRAITOR! YOU'VE BETRAYED ME LAST TIME AND YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN! HOW...** How could you?" A tear slipped from Chara's eye, their face reverting back to normal. Their red eyes dimmed.

Asriel's stare was cold as steel. "Because, I..."

"HAH! **PSYCHE!** " Chara took the opportunity to flip over and get on top. " **YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN. BIG MISTAKE.** "

"Crap. I didn't think my first time with someone going on top of me would be like this." Asriel joked.

" **HA, HA. GOOD ONE, ASRIEL.** " Chara raised their hand for the killing blow. " **GOOD ONE.** "

Chara struck down at Asriel, who flinched back.

Only for their hand to get caught by an invisible force. " **WHAT?** "

Gaster held them there, before flinging his hand to the side, which Chara followed and slammed their head against the entrance to the True Lab, which broke like wood snapping in half and they fell down the elevator chute.

Gaster huffed as he went over to the goat and helped him up. "See? What did I tell you. Cured."

"Thanks, doctor Gaster." Asriel said.

"Now, we got a missile problem." Gaster turned his head toward MAD DUMMY, who was constantly shooting missiles. Undyne dodged them and tried to throw energy spears at him, but missiles kept colliding with her spears. MAD DUMMY's ammunition didn't seem to stop. MAD DUMMY kept shooting like a madman. Meanwhile, Muffet and Burgerpants went over to the fallen flower and Burgerpants put some food into him.

Flowey, with food and the power of Frisk, suddenly had a blue glow to him. He stood up, now with an astral projection, thanks to Frisk. His astral projection was his new body. It had a blue glow, and looked like a hologram.

"HOLY SHIT," Flowey yelled in surprise. "I have a body? I... I guess I'll never doubt you, Frisk."

 _Your welcome._ Frisk replied.

"It's _you're_ welcome," Flowey corrected. " _You are_."

 _Don't care._

Now... Muffet, Burgerpants and Flowey faced Gaster and Asriel.

"Hey, uh... you're the king's son, right?" Gaster asked. Asriel nodded. "You got any abilities?"

"Well," Asriel did a little spark of fire with his fingers. "Not really helping."

Gaster narrowed his eyes. "Asriel, you and that flower had shared the same body. I may have separated you two, but there's still a connection between you two."

"Hmm? What do you mean?" Asriel asked.

"You can do what he does." Gaster stated. "You're equals."

Asriel looked at Flowey. He closed his eyes, feeling a sort of connection to the flower. He didn't know it was there before, but now he could feel it. The energy swirling around him like armor. He opened his eyes, and he felt taller.

"Whuh..." He looked down and he was in his own astral projection. Only yellow, and had more defining features. It looked more like when Asriel had actually become the god of hyperdeath with all seven human souls. "That's more like it!"

"Pfft! There's only two of you and three of us!" Flowey snorted.

Burgerpants inched backwards.

"It'll do," Gaster smirked.

* * *

Chara smacked their face into some metal railings, built for the integral structure of the elevator that was missing. They fell forty feet into the ground with a deafening SMACK, and rolled over. The demon's body felt like jelly. It also felt numb.

"I fell farther before... like that fall into the underground the first time. I survived that, _no_ _problem_..." Chara grunted as they pulled themself up. "But this time, no convenient flowers..."

Chara huffed as they leaned against the wall, looking up at the top floor, which seemed so far away. Just like when they fell into the underground the first time.

"Ugh..." Chara stumbled. "...oh... _god_..." Their voice cracked.

They could feel the spirits coming closer.

The amalgamates had come.

* * *

Papyrus entered the facility again, to check on the civil war.

"OH HEY GUYS— _WOAH_!"

Undyne was doing acrbatic flips to dodge MAD DUMMY's missiles, and tried to strike him down with her crazy aim. The missiles kept coming, and nothing could ever touch MAD DUMMY, who was screaming until his throat was sore. Muffet was swinging around, as lumps of metal and cardboard were flung at her by Gaster, where a brilliant light display was going on around him. Flowey and Asriel were whacking the crap out of each other, never tiring for a second. Their punches could be felt in the air and they actually felt like gods. Burgerpants was doing nothing, so Papyrus went over to him.

"HEY."

"Hey."

"SHOULD WE BE FIGHTING? I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD BE FIGHTING."

CRASH! Mettaton with a new robot form tunneled his way through the ground and made a grand entrance. He looked around and found his target, his ex-employee.

 _"Ahh, look what the cat dragged in."_ Mettaton poetically said. _"How's it going, Mel?"_

"My name's not Mel."

 _"Hah, funny story."_ Mettaton aimed his new arm cannons at him and blasted an energy wave. Flowey noticed and threw Asriel into the shot. The pink laser struck Asriel into the ground, making him tunnel several hundred feet into the ground. Mettaton's eyes widened and cupped his mouth. _"Oh, dear."_

Flowey now leaped at Mettaton, kicking him into a wall.

"HEY, I'LL BE FORCED TO USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" Papyrus warned.

"Go ahead!" Flowey replied, walking over to him. "Take your shot! I know all your mo—"

Flowey was struck by blue energy as he forgot that he wasn't supposed to move. "AH! I forgot!"

"NOW, FOR MY REAL SPECIAL ATTACK!" Papyrus snapped his fingers and Flowey's soul turned blue. "YOU'RE BLUE NOW."

"Oh, _dingus_..." Flowey felt himself get lifted and smashed against the ground repeatedly.

Burgerpants went away, when Mettaton flew in front of him with a cracked sternum. _"Where do you think_ you're _going?"_ the robot asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Burgerpants sighed. "I'm a bother."

 _"Well, you're very much so, darling."_ Mettaton was about to blast Burgerpants, when missiles started hammering against him.

Burgerpants looked back to see MAD DUMMY firing everywhere, while Undyne blocked his missiles and deflected them by spinning her spear. Gaster and Muffet were also getting swarmed by this and started to dive away. Papyrus used Flowey as a shield.

"NOW, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME _MAD DUMMY_?" MAD DUMMY shouted.

"This would've been a lot easier if Sans weren't such a pussy and is still here!" Undyne murmured.

Undyne gritted her teeth and put all her energy into one spear.

"TAKE THIS!" she shouted, tossing the spear so hard it broke the wind around it. MAD DUMMY's missiles exploded against it, but it was so powerful it went through it all with no harm. It was about to hit MAD DUMMY, when a white monster erupted from the ground and caught the spear.

Undyne gasped.

The amalgamates roared as they swung the spear like it was their own. Chara jumped up from the hole the Amalgamate made, with a grin on their face.

"Yes! This is all going _my_ way!" Chara laughed. "THIS IS MY TIME!"

Asriel got back into the fight, noticing that the building they once fought in was now in tatters.

Muffet, Burgerpants and Flowey all went to side with Chara. Gaster, Undyne, Asriel, Papyrus and Mettaton gathered themselves together. They all faced each other, everyone at their peak.

Team Hiders versus Team Seekers.

"What do we do?" Asriel asked.

"We fight," Gaster answered with a determined nod. Team Hiders started walking at the opposing team, which followed their lead. Team Hiders started picking up speed, and Team Seekers started running at them. The two teams came closer and closer. And then they collided.

Gaster rammed into Chara. Flowey tackled Asriel. Undyne and MAD DUMMY engaged in a fierce battle. Mettaton and Muffet spiraled upward into the air. Papyrus and the giant Amalgamate struck head on. Their fight went out of control real quick. With MAD DUMMY's missiles, Undyne's Undying form, and Gaster starting to unhinge his true power.

It was _war_.

* * *

A/N: You didn't see _that_ coming.

Yep. This whole story was actually an action, disguised as a comedy. I'll see you all later.


	18. frisk-witness sans is real

**Hide and Seek**

* * *

 _ughhh... where am i?_

"Sans, I am disappointed in you," a soft, silky voice said.

The skeleton opened his eyes, scanning his surroundings. He seemed to be kneeling before a golden throne in a place full of clouds. Clouds were literally soaking up his sight. The clear blue skies were above him, which was a fantasy because that only exists on the surface. Sans looked up at the throne he was kneeling to and found Frisk sitting there.

"You haven't said any puns for the past... I don't know... _week_?" Frisk stated disapprovingly. "I like those puns."

"well, i change my style of comedy," Sans got on his two feet, shrugging. "all good things come to an end. if i say puns too much, it'll get boring and predictable. no one would laugh. sometimes i need a fresh breath of air every now and then."

Frisk narrowed Frisk's eyes. "That didn't happen with the other Sanses."

"other... _sanses_?" Sans asked intriguingly.

"Yeah, the other Sanses kept spouting puns. Except for some unique ones. Like blueberry Sans." Frisk said.

"well, theyre stupid," Sans remarked, "if ya stick to one type of comedy, youre gonna be seen as a sad, predictable junket who needs help."

"You just described yourself," Frisk said.

"touché," Sans replied. "so what are we doing? are you going to flip my words on me and help the _sad, predictable junket_?"

"No," Frisk shrugged. "I was lonely."

Sans stared dead ahead. "thats it?"

Frisk laughed. Frisk's laugh were not the kind of chuckles or graceful hahas Sans had expected. Instead, Frisk's godly laugh sounded like a squealing pig. Sans was concerned at first, worrying that Frisk may have fused with a pig in the middle of their conversation. Then, he steeled his complexion.

"No, no," Frisk said, "I just need you to stop the civil war that's going on right now."

" _civil wa_ r?" Sans repeated. "what _civil war_?"

"Oh," Frisk waved Frisk's hand and showed Sans what was happening in the underground. Team Hiders and Team Seekers were tearing each other apart.

Sans grimaced. "i've been gone five minutes and it already went to dung poop. wow." He shuffled on his feet. "so you want me to help undyne defeat chara or something?"

"Nah," Frisk said.

"then... what?"

"Huh. I forgot."

There was a moment of silence between them. It broke when Frisk snapped Frisk's fingers.

"Oh! I was supposed to do something with you," Frisk exclaimed, "You're like _the hero_ and I'm like _the deus ex machina_ —"

"wait wait wait wait..." Sans pinched the bridge of his nose. "you told me a moment ago that i needed to stop the civil war. and then you said that wasnt your idea and i'm going to predict... youre gonna tell me to stop the war."

" _Woah_... Are you, like, _magic_?" Frisk asked in wonder.

"yes," Sans answered solemnly. He turned his back on Frisk to convey annoyance, before going back and kneeling. "i cant take it anymore! just tell me what to do. ive been doing some weird and sometimes boring stuff this past week for no rhyme or reason. give me a reason to do something. please, frisk, youre a _god_. cant you task me with some stuff?"

"Huh. I expected you to be like, _hey, Frisk, if you're a god, why don't you stop the war yourself_?" Frisk responded. "But, uh, this is refreshing. Not new, but refreshing." Frisk clapped Frisk's hands, "However! Serious time! Sans, what do you think of Chara?"

"that megalomaniac bitch?" Sans wasn't finished insulting, but Frisk nodded and started taking Frisk's turn to talk again.

"Yes. Good judgement. However, this reason derives from the fact that this Chara comes from a perfectionist ideal kinda mindset. Ya know, those people who moan about having OCD? It's one of the whys on which Chara resets a lot and probably infuriates you."

"you have no idea."

"Frisk has _all_ ideas, Sans." Frisk retorted, "Anyway, Chara is _also_ the sorta person who resets because they don't want to face life in the face. They want the thrill of the ride, they never want a normal life. To defeat her, is probably to..." Frisk zoned out.

Sans got scared that Frisk was cut off by some third party person. "um, _frisk_?"

"Huh, what? We were talking about Error Sans, right?" Frisk demanded frantically, almost about to get off Frisk's throne. "I was gonna send you to Error Sans right?"

"wha—what do you mean? what are you talking about?"

"Oh, we weren't talking about that? Then, uh... future of the civil war?"

"we never discussed that," Sans said. "though, that may look cool. i kinda wanna see how that'll look like."

Frisk looked at the ground in contempt. Sans was about to tell Frisk what they were talking about, when Frisk suddenly exclaimed. "Chara! We were talking about Chara! Chara's the type of person who would escape reality. If you convince Chara to have a normal life, you have a huge advantage of redeeming them!"

"why would i want to redeem chara of all people?" Sans said, raising a cheek.

"Well, Chara is not normal. Convince Chara, and you get a new ally." Frisk said.

Sans contemplated at the idea for a bit.

"it would be easier to just kill her. resets don't work anymore."

"Uh, yes. About that. Frisk kinda has Frisk's finger over the reset button right now." Frisk informed. "And, uh, my original plan was to destroy Chara too. That was, until I found out... Frisk is Chara's parent."

Sans narrowed his eyes. "alright, _what_?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I found out I'm Chara's parent! Hooray." Frisk cheered. "Except, I'm doing my godly duties, so I can't take care of them. And... yeah."

"youve got to be kidding me," Sans replied. "you cant be his mother for a _number_ of reasons. first off—"

"Yeah, yeah," Frisk rolled Frisk's eyes. "But haven't you noticed it yet, dude? I'm a _God_. It's totally plausible for me to be Chara's dad!"

"okay. im conufsed." Sans derped.

"You said confused wrong," Frisk noted.

"what are your genders?" Sans asked.

"I'm a Frisk. And Chara's a demon." Frisk answered.

"alright. still doesnt..." he waved it off. "...whatever."

"So, by my orders, I want you to redeem Charrrr..." Frisk zoned out yet again.

Sans sighed.

"frisk?"

"Huh? Oh, right! Error Sans! We need to kill Error Sans or else he'll destroy this universe!" Frisk shouted. "Everyone living here. All erased from existence. We were never born or killed. We'll just be wiped out, no sign or trace! Even my mint factory is working its hardest to make Error Sans kryptonite—"

"wait a sec, so... _error sans_... is error sans like _me_ , but... has the power to destroy universes?" Sans asked. He shrugged. "pretty cool dude to be hoenst."

"No. Not a cool dude. He supports anarchy and violence and terrorism. Kinda started a multiversal apocalypse. I'm not up about that." Frisk said highly. "He's also kind of an extreme supporter in nihilism; doesn't believe in any gods or religion. So that strikes me as a bit disrespectful to my social status, but I'll handle because there are a lot of atheists in the world."

"wait. _im_ an atheist." Sans informed.

Frisk snorted. "No, you're not. You believe in me, don't you?"

" _sure_ ," he simply replied.

"Error Sans is not for the faint of... Why am I talking to you about _Error Sans_?" Frisk asked, narrowing Frisk's eyes. Frisk extended Frisk's hand towards Sans, touched his forehead, and disintegrated him. Sans, from behind the eradicated Sans, looked bewildered and stared at Frisk in shock of the trippy visual, since Frisk had just killed him while he stood unharmed.

"what the hell was _that_?" Sans demanded, shivering. "did you just _kill_ me? right in front of me? and when were there _two_ of me?"

"Sans, Sans... a lot about Frisk you don't know about. I'm a god, remember?"

"yeah, but..."

"True, I eradicated you. Not the point though. Thought you were Error Sans for a microsecond. My bad." Frisk apologized, dusting off Frisk's sweater. "Anyway, where were we?"

Sans tensed. "i dont know anymore. i dont care. just tell me what to do and i'll do it."

Frisk looked at Sans skeptically. "Do you know about Jehovah's witness?" Frisk asked, narrowing Frisk's eyes.

"uh..."

"Well, you're a Frisk witness. You worship _me_ now. You're no longer an atheist, and plus you called on my power which is a sign that you believed in me. No refute." Frisk stated. "Go convince Error Sans to take up Friskanity or whatever kids call it next week."

"but, isnt error sans a universe destroyer. he could destroy me before i do anything, couldnt he?" Sans asked.

"You'll be fine," Frisk raised Frisk's hand. "I promise and swear on the grounds of heaven."

"wait, this is heaven?"

"I also swear on the River Styx to curse me with a cancer of bad luck that'll eat me up, if I fail to protect you on Error Sans' grounds." Frisk added.

"thats a mighty promise youre gonna take there, bucko." Sans remarked.

"Tell me about it," Frisk replied, sighing in Frisk's throne. "Once, I had to swear and promise to this guy that I'd give him unlimited missiles if he were to burn an offering to me. You know, burnt offerings are the best and highest offerings you could give a god."

"i'll keep that in mind." Sans said. "would you give me anything in life if i gave you a burnt offering?"

"Dude, literally."

"literally?"

"Literally."

"okay. now i know who to count on if i need an extra ice cube in my lemonade."

"So, it's a done deal then!" Frisk clapped Frisk's hands. "You're gonna do a thing for me! You're gonna walk up to Error Sans, look him in the eye, and say in a slow and menacing manner: _you will not blow up this universe_. And then you're gonna be a good Frisk witness and promote my religion to Error Sans. If everything goes North, then I'll have a universal destroyer to worship me."

Frisk waved Frisk's hand and started to transport Sans to Error Sans.

"wait, _no_ —"

* * *

A/N: And then Sans died. The end.

For convenience sake's, if you wanna call this Sans (Hide and Seek) separate from the other Sans (canon Undertale), call him...

" _ **Frisk-Witness Sans**_ " or _FriskWitness!Sans_ , or _FW!Sans_ , or... HaS!Sans. Has. HaS. Wow, I didn't know my story's letterology was HaS.

Wait, let me do a trial with this new name.

/

 _"Hey, Frisk-Witness Sans!" Blueberry Sans greeted, waving a hand. Frisk-Witness just stayed still in his chair at the table, gripping the bottle of ketchup in his hands. Blueberry took a seat next to him._

 _Frisk-witness groaned. "What, Blueberry Sans?"_

 _"Error wanted to tell Geno to tell Aftertale to tell Fresh to tell Underfell to tell me to tell you that your name sounds ridiculous!" Blueberry said, "But still, your name sounds kinda funny to me. What's your backstory anyway? Why're you called that?"_

 _"It's not—It's not even related!" Frisk-witness burst. "It's just a joke for a chapter where I meet Frisk the mint god, and the other name anyone else would call me would be Hide-and-Seek Sans! Which is even_ more _ridiculous! And, the hide and seek aspect to that name isn't even a major thing around my life story! It's another joke in the background made by a god who does nothing but humiliate me, and I'm not talking about Frisk. I'm talking to those entities that have higher power than Error Sans! And what a cool name Error is! So are Geno and Blueberry! God, even Fresh! And all I end up is_ Frisk-Witness _?! It's not fair!"_

 _"Well, at least you're not called Hide-And-Seek Sans, amirite?" Blueberry elbowed the guy._

 _Frisk-witness slammed his head onto the table. "Why?" he croaked._

/

It's terrible. _Perfect_!

Writing Frisk was fun and all, but Frisk is a god, so... there's little to do with Frisk unless I want to end the story in an anticlimactic way... like reseting everything so it never happened. Wait, that's a good idea. *jots down the finale of this story, which will probably never happen*

Also, a deleted scene.

* * *

"Tell me about it," Frisk replied, sighing in Frisk's throne. "Once, I had to swear and promise to this guy that I'd give him unlimited missiles if he were to burn an offering to me. You know, burned offerings are the best and highest offerings you could give a god. I would like, get into a _bukkaki_ , just to get me some of those burned offerings."

" _what_?! ew, _why_? my eyessss! why give me me the picture!?" Sans cried out, covering his eyes as he dropped to the ground. "they _burn_!"

"Oh, come on! There are like a hundred visual representations of me in those positions—"

" _aaaggghhhhhh_! what the hell frisk?! too much information!"

"Alright. Sorry for weirding you out. That goes for _you_ guys too." Frisk said, looking at us. "I might've scarred you. And sorry, but... Hey, we needed to drive this in your head somehow and make sure you don't forget this."

"who are you talking to?" Sans asked while writhing in pain on the ground.


	19. Error, the extreme mild nihilist

A/N: If you are sensitive about religion, then... you're gonna have a bad time reading this.

* * *

 **Hide and Seek**

* * *

 _oh god dammit frisk._

Sans floated in a dark void of blackness. He felt his body moving forward somewhere. He was scared that he'd fall off if he moved, but he did an accidental somersault and he was still moving in the general direction, so he sighed. He was fine. He was slowly falling to this giant mass that was so dense that it had its own gravitational pull. But this gravity was in the middle of nowhere, so Sans figured that it might not be that impressive. But the trick would be that he wasn't able to see what this giant mass was, so he thought it had to be impressive if he was going at lightspeed towards the thing.

It took a couple weeks of interdimensional travel, with Sans dying of boredom. But he finally got there.

The entity was nearing Sans' body, and the small skeleton marveled at the giant being. Frisk-witness Sans felt like he was the size of this guy's zipper. The entity moved, like it sensed the intrusion of a newcomer.

" _What_?" the entity bellowed mightily. "Who goes there?"

"uh, hi," Frisk-witness Sans waved. "i'm looking for _error sans_?"

"You're looking at him," Error Sans said.

"you're a big dude." Sans noted, before his eyes transcended earth limits and saw Error Sans for what he was. "oh. well, you look like a sad sack. those look like tear stains on your cheek. you okay, dude? what were you crying about?"

"What?" Error Sans waved a hand, pulling blue strings around Sans. Error didn't continue the conversation and went back to sulking in the dark, thinking he just eradicated Frisk-witness Sans. Then he noticed Sans was still there, unharmed. He tried pulling the strings, but it didn't work against Frisk-witness. "Why can't I kill... Oh, you're protected by some ancient charm. No matter, I'll just hack into... Wait. That's not some ancient... Oh, come on! Don't tell me you're one of those Jehovah's witnesses! I can't believe one of us is a Jehovah's witness!"

"no! im not a jehovahs witness!" Sans informed.

"Then what the hell is up with that god and religion thing your mind is pulling!?" Error Sans demanded. "I'm not going to worship God or Jesus, you dumb nitwit! Get the fuck outta my territory, you dumb christian!"

"no! wait! im not a jehovah's witness! i swear!" Sans exclaimed frantically. "im instead a frisk-witness! not a jehovah's witness! i dont believe in god either, except for..." Sans sighed begrudgingly. "... _frisk_."

"Well, stupid Sans. Are you regretting the choice to worship god? You homophobic prick." Error spat. "What are you trying to do? Get me to open up to Friskanity? Not gonna happen. I know your kind. You go to comic-con only to hold up signs of protest against comic books and support worshipping gods. All you people do is stand behind a megaphone and protest, protest, protest..."

"oh my go—for the last time! im not a christian! im not catholic, not in any religion! im an atheist, just like you!"

Error snorted. "I'm not an atheist. I'm a nihilist. There's a difference. Nothing matters in the universe. All you do is live and die. That's it. It's all meaningless."

"jesus, this is harder than i thou—"

"AHA!" Error screeched, almost making Sans' ears bleed, if he had any. "You said _Jesus_! Proof that you worship Jesus!" Error pointed. He struck a bolt of lightning at Sans (because Error could do anything), and it just bounced off the invisible barrier Frisk put on Sans. "Well! Well! Look at that, you actually do support a god! If not, you wouldn't have a godly shield around you. And you were telling me you weren't a Jehovah's witness. Hah! What blasphemy."

Sans groaned. This was going nowhere. Error was incessant about religion for some reason. Frisk-witness had traveled sixteen days in silence and finally ended up talking to someone, only for it to be a complete lunatic obsessed with striking down anyone who believes in God. Frisk _is_ a god, just... not the correct one.

"i. dont. believe. in. god!" Sans shouted. "frisk is not the capital g _god_! frisk, you know frisk. frisk the guy who can reset the universe. frisk sent me! frisk may have also wanted to convince you to open up to his religion, but that doesnt matter! what matters is not destroying my universe!"

"Why should I not destroy your universe, Frisk-witness Sans?" Error demanded. "It doesn't matter in the end, anyways. Your universe, I've seen, will die of heat death in the next 9.73 billion years. If I destroy it now, makes no difference in the end. It will be destroyed either way."

"uh, yeah, the difference is, there probably wont be an earth with life on it during those bleak times. earth has like, what? a few billion years from now to live? cmon, man, there are lives on the line with your decision—"

"Yeah, Earth for you dies in 36 hours from now." Error stated nonchalantly. "So, it _wouldn't_ really matter if I destroy it now because literally no progress on a universal scale will happen."

That bugged Sans immensely.

His Earth was going to die in 36 hours?

 _How_? And _why_?!

"what? my earth'll... no, you gotta be kidding me. thats not even possible." Sans replied. "how will _my_ earth die?"

"Turns out, I would have _accidentally_ destroyed it in 36 hours." Error shrugged sarcastically. "So, whoopsidaises. My bad. Still looks like it wouldn't matter."

"what is your _problem_?" Sans demanded. "why destroy the multiverse!? why are you so obsessed over destroying universes with no reason? what, did god do something so humiliating to you that you became a nihilist to spite him and then you became a god of your own and started destroying universes because you hate god on a multiversal scale?"

Error chuckled, rolling his eyes to the side. "Not even close."

"then _what_?"

"Look, kiddo, your universe is a glitch in the matrix. It's not supposed to exist." Error stated. "There is only one true universe, and your universe has derailed so far away from the true universe that it can't be considered a copy of the true universe. And probably the fact that you technically worship a god strikes a nerve with me because there are those hardcore god-worshippers who kinda light fires and want to burn any fictional creation because they think that the only thing that everyone should obsess over is the bible. Which is a blind fuckton of stupid stories clammed together and doesn't make sense."

"alright, so filtering out the unimportant parts. you think my universe is a glitch?" Sans asked, a bit irritated by Error's extreme nihilistic stand and how spiteful he was about christianity. Sans didn't even want to talk about it or bring it up, but Error kept doing so. Sans was _really_ annoyed by it now.

"Yes, it _is_ a glitch." Error stated. "There's a _civil war_ going on down there. There are no civil wars in the true universe—"

"wait a second!" Sans thought of an idea. "you truly are a blind hypocrite!"

"What?"

"youre just like one of those religious people because you obsess over the one true universe, your bible, and you want to burn everything else because they're a glitch! like we're your gay people or magic harry potter books!" Sans stated. "youre one hardcore religious mofo. and plus, some religious people are okay. theyre not as insane as you make them to be... well, only some of them are. but we're _all_ insane deep down, right?" he said, trying to make a connection.

Error clenched his hand. "It's different! I'm not like one of those guys!"

"dude, the definition of religion is a system of faith and worship! youre literally doing that for the true universe!" Sans said, "youre a hypocrite, error! a _hypocriiiite_!"

" **ENOUGH!** " Error shouted, grabbing Frisk-witness Sans. " **You're just trying to save your universe from total annihilation! Nothing you say will change my decision to destroy your universe, Frisk-witness! Your universe will die, and that's _FINAL_!** "

Then Error threw Sans so hard he broke the interdimensional barrier and ended up back in heaven in a couple of seconds, breaking Frisk's sixteen day record.

Sans plunged into the clouds at Frisk's feet, whose eye twitched in frustration upon seeing him. Frisk picked Sans up, even though he was bigger than Frisk, and Frisk threw him into the sky. Sans broke the interdimensional barrier again and ended up slamming into Error's chest in no time.

Error stumbled back, surprised, before growling.

Sans looked around and saw Error playing with dolls, which had happened fifteen seconds after Frisk-witness had been sent to Frisk and back. There was either something wrong with time, or Error was obsessed with his Sanses dolls. Error clenched his hands at the humiliation, his dolls being telekinetically stuffed back in a magic shelf with all his dolls, which turned invisible.

Sans snickered at a multiversal destroyer playing with dolls. But also found it quite sad. Maybe that was why he looked like he had tear stains down his eyes.

" **WHY? Leave me alone!** " Error pulled on some strings, warping that reality's code to throw Sans back into his universe without even touching him.

"no pls dont throw me agaaaAAAAIIIII—"

And then Sans broke the interdimensional barrier for the third time.

And then Sans broke it a fourth time.

Then a fifth.

A sixth.

Error shouted, " **STOP!** "

"im sorry, man. i didnt want to do this. but just dont destroy my universe. easy as that."

"I'm not a fucking twat! I'm not one of them! I'm the end-all destroyer!" Error exclaimed, not able to talk about anything else. Sans groaned inwardly at his stupid ideas. Why did he have to break Error? "There is nothing similar between me and christians!"

"dude, stop using that word. we dont have to fight over if there really is a god. because let's face it, according to multiverse theory, there's gonna be at least one universe with god in it." Sans said, "nobody's right or wrong. let's just not destroy universes for a moment, alright?"

Error narrowed his eyes menacingly.

He was full of rage at Frisk-witness. He looked away, disgusted by the Sans, before glaring back with the full blast of his hatred.

"Your universe _dies_ in twenty seconds."

"thats not fair!"

"Eighteen."

"no!" Sans held out his hand. "error, dont do this!"

"Or what?"

"or ill... i'll never return back home. and you wont be able to kill me."

Error grit his teeth. " _Ten_."

" _error_!"

"Nine!"

"alright! im sorry i compared you to christians, just leave my universe alone!"

"Six!"

Sans tried to think of something quick, but Error's countdown got to him. Sans was paralyzed with fear.

"Five... Four... _Three_..."

"error, wait! butterscotch or cinnamon?" Sans tried.

Error hesitated. The countdown was up and he was about to snap his fingers, a universe's goodbye. "Butterscotch or cinnamon? Dude, totally cinnamon."

Sans' spirits were lifted. "really? i like cinnamon too, but... gaster and undyne picked butterscotch over cinnamon, so...—"

"WHAT?!" Error exclaimed, "How _dare_ they? Cinnamon is love, cinnamon is life! Their buttershit is nothing compared to cinnamon!"

"thats what i said! i even called their butterscotch _buttershit_!" Sans added.

"Haha! _Yeah_! That's what a true Sans would do!" Error said.

"yep. and thank you for your time." Sans replied.

"What do you..." Error instantly turned to his fingers. There were supposed to be strings connecting him to Frisk-witness' universe, but they had been disintegrated by Frisk-witness Sans' gaster blasters. Sans had wittingly drawn Error's attention to him, so that he could slyly destroy Error's connection to his universe. Thus, Error wouldn't be able to destroy his universe, or make the world explode in 36 hours.

Error glared at Sans.

"Clever," he remarked.

Sans shrugged. "aah, jeez, it wasn't that hard. all ya needed was to put some _backbone_ into it." He chuckled a bit at his pun, before turning serious. "alright, you got no business with me anymore. bring me back home."

"Can't. You destroyed the only connection to your universe." Error said, shrugging back. "Now it'll drift away and vaporize itself in 12 hours."

"what? _no_!" Sans cried.

"Your fault," Error replied. "I had nothing to do with it."

"since when were you connected to everything?" Sans demanded.

"Oh, not really. I was just bluffing." Error deadpanned, "Or was I?"

* * *

A/N: blarghhhh we're now entering the multiple Sanses skit. Get ready for a weird, confusing journey...

If you're asking how I got the idea that Error was against religion, well... It was kind of a horse-beating sequel to the throwaway nihilist statement last chapter. I'll... think of something better for his character. Or I'll keep it just to screw with you guys, and make my interpretation different than others, because there is no way in hell someone made Error an obnoxious, anti-religious nihilist before me. No freakin' way, dudes... no freakin' way.


End file.
